Nowhere To Run
by My writing is this
Summary: Dean's going to Hell. What could be worse then that? For Evy, it's the only concern she has. Yes, worse things are happening now that the door has been opened, but Dean's the love of her life. How is she supposed to say goodbye to him? Truth is, she doesn't plan to. She knows when it's going to happen. She has the resources to change it. But will it be in time?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello again! Here is the next story in my Supernatural series! However, I do have to admit that I am saddened by the lack of response to the end of the second. Perhaps I need to plead more for reviews. But then again, why plead? If people like it they'll review right? Anyway, nothing will stop me from sharing my stories and will post either way. Which is maybe why no one reviews. Haha. Here's chapter number one! I hope you enjoy and feel free to drop me a line in any shape or form! ; )**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing from Supernatural!**

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_**Prologue**_

Night had fallen. The wind was blowing rough against me. Tree branches were hitting my face as I ran. My adrenaline was pumping. I could hear the footfalls behind me. They were closing in and I still didn't have them where I wanted them. I thought the plan was working fine, till they dropped from trees in front of me. I stopped, pulling a flask from my jacket pocket. I quickly screwed off the top before swinging it in a circle, the holy water making them all smoke. I pushed through them, keeping myself moving. I'd be screwed if they caught me. Dead before I knew what was going on. But the high school came into view. I pushed through the doors, hearing the feet closing in behind me. I didn't hesitate as I moved through the halls. All I needed to do was get across and out the other side.

A momentary set back made panic flutter through my veins as I fell down several sets of stairs. The air was knocked out of me. I felt a couple ribs crack in the process. It took me a moment to get to my feet again. I was out of time. I told Dean to make sure the doors were sealed, giving me only a few minutes to get through the school. If any of the demons got loose reinforcements would be coming and we wouldn't be ready. We'd already made that mistake. There were too many as it was. I moved as fast as I could. I went into the nearest classroom, science tables lined with beakers. I slid a file cabinet against the door before getting ready for plan B. I had a limited supply of holy water but I did have an exorcism memorized. I might have a chance of exorcising a few but not this many.

I heard the banging on the door. It would only be a few minutes now. I held tight to the pentagram around my neck, pulling out any power that it had. The cabinet flew back as the demons pushed into the room. I splashed the demons with holy water, keeping them at bay while I spoke as fast as I could. Two demons were forced from their bodies. I did the same to three more. I was out of holy water. I moved back as they came forward. I nearly had another three but the wall was behind me and their heads were still turning. One grabbed my throat, trying to silence me. I managed to get the last word out and they were banished yet again. It wasn't the end.

Bodies lay before me and I quickly moved from the room. I heard yelling, seeing black smoke as I made my way to the door. There was more black smoke before the school went silent. I moved through the halls, making sure everyone was gone when I was grabbed from behind. They squeezed tightly, making my breath leave with the pain from my ribs. I managed to loosen their grip and free myself. I ran, again, moving into a classroom where I could see a window. I locked the door and went to the window. I opened it as wide as it could before slipping out. I ran but heard the crash. It was only one guy but he was too close for me to defeat him. I tripped, turning to see the demon rushing me. It was about to come down on top of me when it started to smoke and Sam's voice filled the air. The demon yelled but soon was evacuated. I sighed with relief before Sam helped me to my feet.

"Hey." I smiled and hugged him. He just frowned and cocked his head at me. "What?" I asked him, my smile faltering.

"I told you this was a bad idea." He told me.

"It would have worked fine if I hadn't been stuck in there. I'm surprised Dean didn't come barreling in halfcocked." I frowned at him, following him around the building.

"He would have if I hadn't stopped him." He replied. "And I think it worked better with you in there. As soon as you started exorcising it spooked them to the exits letting us take care of the rest."

"Well," I said. "I'm glad my mistake worked out." I told him, putting my hand on my ribcage.

"You okay?" He frowned at me.

"I fell down some stairs. Broke a couple ribs. That's why I didn't make it to the doors." I replied. "But, hey, it worked out for the best."

He laughed and pulled me into a half hug. "Sorry." He said kissing my hair.

"It's fine." I grinned at him.

We met Dean in the front of the school. He was pacing and looking unhappy. I sighed, wondering how bad he was going to yell at me this time. He was the one dying and I was the one constantly in trouble.

"Hey, baby." I smiled at him, leaning in to kiss him.

"What were you thinking?" He asked me.

"Can't you kiss me and then yell at me?" I pouted.

His jaw was clenched. But he sighed and kissed me deeply. "So, what the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that I'm the fastest out of the three of us. I make better bait then you two. I just happened to trip and that caused me to be late. The doors would have been sealed so I had to come up with a plan B. But I'm fine." I told him.

"Really?" He said poking my ribs.

My breath caught as I winched with pain, bending at his touch. "Good God, Dean." I frowned at him.

"How'd you know?" Sam frowned, putting his hand on my arm.

Dean glared at him. "Because I know her inside and out. I can tell if something is off."

I frowned harder at him. "That hurt." I told him through clenched teeth, hitting his chest.

"What did you expect?" He frowned back.

I was pissed. He did that intentionally. The past few weeks had been anything but wonderful. I spent most of it crying. Or drinking. But we were finally getting into a routine. Things were feeling nearly normal. Hunting had us busier then we ever had been. But the groups were larger and much less organized. The demonic realm was chaotic and unpredictable. Despite the fact that the only thing that changed was Dean's expiration date, he was acting ridiculous about every job. He was going in half ass and getting all of us into trouble. He didn't seem to care what happened to him anymore. To him it didn't matter, he was already running on borrowed time. What he did care about was what happened to Sam and me. It didn't matter what job, what supernatural being we were fighting, he made sure we were safe. Even if that put all the danger on him. So, his reaction was not surprising. We'd been fighting a lot lately. If it wasn't about him dying, it was about the job. It was all the little things that shouldn't matter but did.

"I don't expect anything anymore, Dean." I told him angrily.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He shot back.

"You're wearing me out. God knows I love you and you know that but you have to stop worrying. You need to be you. You can't disappear because of what happened. I'm trying to deal but you can't baby me." I told him.

"But you're my baby." He frowned sadly.

I stopped, just looking at him, still holding my ribcage. "Dean, that's sweet, but you can't protect me from everything. You can't save me. I can try and save you but we both know that by the end of this year you're going to Hell. I have to learn to live without you. I have to learn to do things on my own. How can I do that with you looking over my shoulder 24/7?" I asked him, fighting back the tears that wanted to fall.

"We'll save him." Sam told me.

"Sam." Dean and I said together.

I took a deep breath, sighing. "Look, I know this whole situation sucks but you know I'm right. It hurts to say it because I know what it means." I told him, my voice cracking. "But it's the way things are. What else would you have me do?" I asked him softly.

"I don't know." He replied.

"You're going to be Hells bitch." I smirked and walked toward the car.

"That's not funny." He said following me.

"It's a little funny." I smiled at him.

"No." He replied.

"If I'm laughing it's funny. It's not like I don't take your early death seriously." I told him.

"It's not funny." He told me sternly.

"Are we really going to argue about how funny my comment was?" I frowned at him.

"Why not? We argue about everything else these days." He said getting into the car.

I did the same, my expression softening. "I don't want to argue. I just don't want you to get pissed every time something happens."

"Sure." He replied as he started to drive.

* * *

_Dean was running. Terror written all over his face. There was barking from behind him. A barking that was all too familiar. As the hound closed in, the scene changed and the three of us were in a house. A blond was standing there, her eyes white. She opened the sliding room doors and the growling entered the room. The sound was directed at Dean. I watched as his feet were pulled out from under him. The barking and growling continuing, mixing with Dean's screams. His legs were being torn from hip to toe. His arms, slashed, his chest being shredded like ribbons. His blood ran along the floor. I felt myself try to call out to him but there was nothing coming from my mouth. Silent screams as I tried to move to him, help him. But he was dead. His eyes open in a never ending stare as his soul was sent to Hell._

I shot awake, gasping. I looked at Dean, lying next to me, still asleep. Slipping out of bed I went to the bathroom. I stood there a moment before retching into the toilet. The nightmare had been plaguing my dreams nearly every night since finding out about Dean's deal. My head was throbbing, my throat dry. Tears stained my face. This was the worst version of the dream. Sometimes I got to save him. Sometimes I woke up before his chest was made into ribbons. Sometimes I even sacrificed myself to keep him safe. I splashed cold water on my face and neck. I was drenched with sweat. The dreams were so vivid that I thought they were visions at first. But they were too frequent to be visions. And I hadn't had a vision since Azazel was killed. I hadn't moved anything either. Sam, too, was free of his demonic gifts. It was a blessing. This made me even more certain that they were simply dreams. Nightmares that chose to plague me every time I shut my eyes. I took a series of deep breaths before looking at myself in the mirror. I looked like crap. I ran my fingers through my hair. It was getting long again. It covered three-quarters of my back. It looked as unhealthy as the rest of me. My stomach growled but food had been anything but appetizing lately. I turned to see my bag sitting underneath the counter. From inside, I pulled out a bottle of vodka. Unscrewing the cap I took a long drink. I rinsed my mouth before sighing, walking back out into the room. The sun had hardly begun to rise. I ran my fingers through my hair again before slipping outside. The air was cool against what remained of the warm night. I closed my eyes, letting it blow over me. I took a deep breath filling my lungs. I stood there till the sun started to warm my face. I checked the time before starting to walk through the town. I found the nearest beauty salon, sitting on a bench outside of it. Nearly an hour passed before the open sign lit up. I waited a little while longer before going in.

"Good morning." A middle-aged woman smiled at me.

"Morning." I smiled back. There was nothing 'good' about it.

"Looks like you've had a long night." She said making small talk. "I saw you sitting outside. Hope you weren't there too long."

"Not long at all. I just couldn't sleep so I walked here. Didn't take me as long as I had thought it would." I replied casually.

"So, what can I do for you?" The woman smiled.

"I am in need of a hair cut." I told her.

"How short were you thinking?" She asked as she led me to a chair.

"Just a few inches." I replied as I sat down.

"Alright. Any layers or anything?" She asked.

"Yeah." I told her.

I watched as she started to work. The layers started at my chin. In the end she took off more then I had anticipated, letting it fall between my shoulder blades. I had always loved my long hair. But I needed a change. I thanked her after I paid and left quickly. The small weight it took off of me was enough to ease me for now. I felt better. I had changed something. I had made a decision and done it all on my own. It was odd to think that such a small decision would make such a difference. When I got back to the hotel I found the room empty. I showered and got dressed before sitting on the bed, pulling out my sketchbook. I had barely started when the door opened. Dean came in with coffee while Sam came in with food. Dean stopped as soon as he looked at me. Sam frowned and went around him. My eyes met Dean's, never leaving them and his mine as he put down the coffee.

"You cut your hair." Dean stated.

"Yes, I did." I told him.

"Why?" He asked.

"It was time. I wanted a change." I replied.

"Okay." He said but had a slight frown on his face.

I sighed, standing. "We're not going to fight about this are we? Do I need your permission to cut my hair?" I asked him sadly.

"No. No you don't." He replied walking up to me. He ran his fingers through it. "I like it." He smiled and kissed me.

"Really?" I asked giving him a small smile.

"Really." He said and kissed me deeply.

"Good." I said wrapping my arms around him, resting my head against his chest.

We packed and were on the road less then an hour later. It was early but there was plenty of work to be found. I saw Dean glance into the back seat. Sam had his computer open, looking for anything supernatural. I looked at Dean. He looked back before looking at the road.

"What are you thinking?" I asked him.

"Can't you tell?" He asked.

"I prefer you say it." I told him annoyed.

He sighed but his face softened. "This needs to stop."

"What does?" I asked him.

"This bantering we have going on. I know you're angry at me. I know you're scared. You don't have to tell me for me to know it. It's not like I'm all for going to Hell. You don't want me worrying. I get that, but I can't help it. I've lost you once I'm not losing you again." He told me.

"No, I get to lose you this time." I shot at him.

A hurt expression crossed his face. He hit the brakes pulling to the side of the road. He told Sam to stay in the car before getting out. I sighed, looking at Sam, before doing the same. Dean walked away. I followed him, my head down. When he stopped I stepped up to him. We were inches apart but the tension was thicker then ever.

"I can't do this with you." He told me. "We can't keep fighting like this. I can't go through this without you. I know what you're feeling. I've felt it. But you can't treat me like I'm dead when I'm still here."

"I'm just trying to prepare myself." I told him sadly.

"I know. But I need you. I can't handle fighting with you. I just want to be with you." He said sadly. "Do you think I want to die? Do you think I want to go to Hell? Do you think I want to leave you?"

"No, of course not." I said putting my hands on his chest. "I know you think that I'm being hard. That I'm pulling away from you. I'm not. But if I don't put on a hard exterior…" I stopped. My voice breaking. "Then I'd spend everyday crying." I said as a few tears fell. Dean wiped them away, putting his hand on my cheek. "I cry more then you know. You only see me when I've built up enough anger to deal with it. I wish I could be strong. I wish that things can go back to normal. We have a routine, yes, but it's still just an act. Sam is diluted that we're going to save you. I don't have the luxury. I know you're not going to try very hard. We both know what'll happen if you try and get out of your deal. You act indifferent about all of this. You're reckless on the job. You're more worried about us then yourself. I only have you for a year. Can't you just be careful so I can keep you for that long?" I asked him as more tears fell.

He sighed before giving me a series of passionate kisses. "I'll do better." He promised.

I nodded and kissed him again. "I'm just so scared for you to not be here."

"I know. I am too. I was a wreck when you were gone. I can't imagine what you'll be like." He told me.

"What are you saying?" I asked him with a raised brow, a small smile on my lips.

"Well, I figure you love me more. You'll be a complete and total wreck when I'm gone." He replied.

"Oh, and I thought you were the one who loved more." I replied with a smile.

"Hm, maybe." He smiled and kissed me again.

"Alright, no more fighting. No more bantering and worrying. But most of all, no more talk about what's to come. We'll do the job. But if something comes up I can't promise that I won't try. You know that right?" I asked him.

"You wouldn't be you if you didn't." He said and kissed me.

We returned to the car on better terms. After all, it didn't matter what happened. We'd be there for each other no matter what. I would try not to obsess over his death and he in turn would not obsess about keeping Sam and me safe. It was a job we would do together. He didn't have to take it upon himself to get it done. We were, and would always be, a team.


	2. Forgive Me Father

**Disclaimer: The usual. Supernatural is not mine. Only my obsession. ;)**

**A/N: Okay, somebody has to have a thought out there. After the first chapter...maybe not. But a review or two would be appreciated _eventually._ Thanks for reading anyway!**

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_**Chapter Two: Forgive Me Father…**_

Church had never been big with me. I remember going as a child but after my parents died I had decided that it wasn't worth it. God took them from me so why should I worship him? But here I was, listening to the priest's homily. He was talking about the mercy of the Lord. How in times of need, you can feel him and he will guide you. What a load of crap. Who actually believed this shit? After everything I've seen, how can God allow all the horrible I've seen to happen? When the service was over I waited for the church to empty before going to the front. There were two arches of prayer candles with a kneeler in the middle of them. I lit one of the candles, kneeling down, looking up at the cross in front of me. Jesus was nailed to it, as he always was, his torso and arms were off of the cross, bending up toward the heavens. I closed my eyes, silent tears falling.

"I know it's been a while." I whispered, looking up at the cross. My eyes brimming with tears. "I don't know why I'm talking to you. I don't know how to do this. There are so many things that I don't know. Things I don't understand. But I know I don't deserve to ask, I know that, but…please…please help Dean. He doesn't deserve to go to Hell. He doesn't deserve to be punished for wanting his brother alive. He's done so much good in this world. The number of people he's saved." I said and wiped the tears from my eyes. "I don't want to have to say goodbye. I got to go to heaven. I thank you for that. Despite everything, _God _I thank you for that. But Dean deserves the same. He doesn't belong in Hell. I don't deserve to ask for your help. But I think you're the only one who can help us now." I said and put my forehead on my folded arms, crying.

When I got myself together I stood, crossing myself before I turned to leave. My eyes were a little foggy from crying. I was halfway down the aisle when someone caught my eye. I turned and saw a woman look at me before disappearing behind a pillar. I stopped in my tracks. She had blond hair and it looked familiar. When I didn't see her again I put it out of my mind. It was just a play of my eyes. I didn't need another thing to worry about. I met the guys at a diner a few blocks way. By the time I got there I hoped my eyes were no longer red and I looked normal. When I walked in I saw Sam sitting alone in a booth. I slid in across from him.

"Hey." I smiled.

"Hey." Sam said putting the book he was reading away before folding his hands and leaning toward me. I frowned and did the same. "It's time we do something about Dean."

"What do you mean?" I asked him, my stomach dropping.

"We need to get him out of his deal." Sam replied.

I sighed and leaned back. "I want to. I really do. But do you think it's even possible?" I asked him.

"You look like you've already given up." Sam frowned at me, edge in his voice.

"Sam, I don't want to get my hopes up." I told him sadly. "If we start trying to find out how to get him off, what if we actually find a lead? What if we find someone or something that will help us get him out of his deal? If it goes south I will be completely crushed. I can't spend the next year thinking we can save him. Because when the year ends and he's taken from me, I won't survive."

I just finished when Dean came back. "Hey." He said sliding next to me, kissing my hair. "You two look serious. What's up?"

"It's nothing." I replied leaning into him.

Just then my phone rang. Bobby's picture looked at me. I slid it open. "Hello?"

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Nothing, what's up?" I replied.

"I've got something." Bobby told me.

"Where?" I asked him.

Soon we were on the road, heading to Lincoln, Nebraska. Bobby said there was crop failure and a cicada swarm. It wasn't known whether it was actual demonic omens or just a bad crop and bug problem. There were no deaths so far, nothing else linking this to the supernatural. But it was enough. It was our only lead and we would follow it. It was our job.

"You okay?" Dean asked me.

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" I shot at him sarcastically.

"That's hilarious." He scoffed at me.

I sighed and looked out the windshield. "I'm sorry." I told him. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"I can tell. You've haven't slept in weeks. Not a full night anyway." He replied.

"I'm fine." I told him. "I'm sorry I snapped at you. I just don't need you asking me if I'm okay. I'm not okay. I can't even begin to imagine when I'll be okay again."

He didn't say anything. I shut my eyes, leaning the seat back. "Listen, just try and get some rest." He said softly.

"I'm not okay but I am fine. I don't have a choice. You may be trying to live it up now that you know when you're expiration date is, but the rest of us aren't as lucky." I said softly as I already started to drift off.

_Dean was on top of me. He was kissing me passionately as his hands moved over my body. We were happy. It felt wonderful. It felt like it was supposed to. The way it was supposed to be for the rest of our lives. The climax was coming but instead of feeling the wonderful pleasure that sex brings, something started to drip on my stomach. I looked down, seeing the red. My hands were on his chest. Moments later they started to sink into his body, feeling blood and torn flesh beneath my hands. Blood slid down my arms. He was still smiling down at me. I looked at his chest. I moved one of my hands as I looked at the slashes. Soon I could feel something warm and slimy touch my palm before moving down my arm. I looked to see part of his intestine starting to come out. A pulsing beat against my palm before it suddenly stopped. Panic and shock were coursing through me. I looked back at his face. His smile was gone and instead of seeing the life in his eyes it was a never ending stare that no longer saw me. A scream erupting from my mouth._

I shot awake, my eyes wide. I covered my mouth as a spout of vomit tried to come out. The car jerked as Dean moved to the side of the road. Practically falling out of the car, I let it all out on the side of the road. I was shaking. I heard two doors slam, telling me the guys were out of the car.

"I'm fine. Please, just stay in the car." I told them without looking at them. I heard one door. I sighed and felt Dean's hands on my arms. He pressed his face into my hair. "I'm fine."

"Keep telling yourself that." He replied. "Maybe you'll start believing it."

I sighed, leaning back against him. He wrapped his arms around me as I wrapped mine over his. "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry. I love you." He said softly.

"I love you too."

We stood there a few minutes before going back to the car. He wasn't pushing me about my nightmare but I knew it was coming. Right now we had more important things to worry about. When we got to the house just outside of Lincoln, Bobby was already waiting for us. I was the first to get out. Bobby opened his arms to me. I smiled and hugged him tightly.

"How you doin'?" He asked me softly before the guys could join us. I shrugged crossing my arms. "Yeah." He said and sighed, gently rubbing my back. "So we're eating bacon cheeseburgers for breakfast, are we?" Bobby asked Dean who walked up with a large sandwich.

"Well, sold my soul. Got a year to live. I ain't sweating cholesterol." He smiled. I frowned but tried to hide it.

"So, Bobby, what do you think? We got a biblical plague here or what?" Sam asked him.

"Well, let's find out. Looks like the swarm's ground zero." Bobby replied.

We walked up to the door. Dean pounded it. "Candygram!"

"Do you have to do that?" I asked him softly.

Dean just looked at me before pounding again. There still was no answer. Dean looked at Bobby before picking the lock. As soon as we walked in something foul hit our noses. I covered my mouth, practically gagging at the smell.

"That's awful." Sam stated.

"Ugh. That so can not be a good sign." Dean added.

"Oh God." I said before getting my gun ready.

I didn't want to do the girl thing and leave. I was tougher then that but the sound of buzzing cicadas was unsettling. We moved through the house. It was quiet and so far every room was clear. Dean and Sam went to one side of the house. I followed Bobby through the other half.

"How you holding up?" Bobby whispered to me.

"Now's not really the time is it?" I frowned at him.

"Can't get you alone any other time." He stated.

"I'm dealing." I told him.

He just sighed and looked at me sympathetically. I frowned and moved in front of him. The house was clear. There was the sound of voices up ahead. I looked at Bobby before moving into the room. It was the source of the smell. I covered my mouth as I looked at a decayed family on the couch. They looked like they were just sitting. I couldn't take it anymore. I felt the bile coming up my throat. I ran from the room and outside, letting it out. I wiped my mouth before going to the car. I reached into my bag and pulled a small bottle of whiskey out. Feeling the burn as I took a large swig off of it. I replaced the bottle and leaned against the car. I ran my fingers through my hair. I waited for my shaking to stop. I turned around reaching back into my bag. My hand was around the bottle again when I heard something on the porch. I straightened, pulling my gun out. I moved forward, slowly stepping up the stairs. I moved to the corner, hearing the shifting of feet just on the other side. I turned the corner just in time to see Dean get punched out.

"Dean!" I said rushing forward. A black man had done the hitting, a woman right behind him. "Stay back." I told him.

He rushed me. I ducked under his arm and punched his side from behind. The woman came at me. Stepping forward to meet her, I punched her hard across her jaw. I swung around when I heard feet but was hit hard. I fell, dazed, to the floor. I looked up to see the man hovering over me. He was interrupted when I heard Bobby's voice.

"Isaac? Tamara?" Bobby said to the couple.

"Bobby, what the hell are you doing here?" She smiled. She had an Australian accent.

"I could ask the same." Bobby replied.

"How are you, Bobby?" Isaac said shaking his hand.

"Hello? Bleeding here. Huh." Dean said with his hand raised from the ground.

"Here too." I said slowly getting to my feet.

"Sorry about that." Isaac told us.

"Sure." I said and helped Dean from the ground.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah. Are you?" I countered. He nodded. "Good."

* * *

Isaac and Tamara had a house they had been staying in. It was old and abandoned. They had their things everywhere. I stood uncomfortably as Dean flirted for information on the phone and Sam was keen on asking the married couple questions. I wanted to know what they were going to say. I wanted to know how they had managed to be Hunters and be married at the same time.

"Honey." Isaac said as he searched for something. "Where's the Palo Santo?"

"Well, where'd you leave it?" Tamara replied.

"I don't know, dear, that's why I'm asking." Isaac replied though you could hear the love in his voice.

"Palo Santo?" Sam asked.

"It's holy wood." Tamara told him. "From Peru. It's toxic to demons, like holy water. Keeps the bastards nailed down while you're exorcising them." She pulled out the wood, handing it to her husband.

"Thank you, dear."

"You'd lose your head it if wasn't for me." She smiled at him.

"So how long have you two been married?" Sam grinned at them.

"Eight years this past June." She smiled at him. Isaac pulled her to him, kissing her forehead.

"The family that slays together-" Isaac told him.

"Right, I'm with you there. So how'd you get started?" Sam asked with a smile. The smiles on their faces disappeared and they looked at each other. "Oh, you're not—I'm sorry. It's not—It's none of my business."

"No, no, it's— It's all right." Tamara said with a small smile.

"Well, Jenny, if you, uh, look as pretty as you sound…then I' love to have an appletini." Dean was telling the woman. I grinned. He'd never have an appletini. "Yeah, call you." He said before snapping the phone closed. "That was the coroner's tech."

"And?" Sam asked.

"Get this. That whole family, cause of death was dehydration and starvation. No signs of restraint. No violence. They just sat down and never got up." He replied.

"But there was a fully stocked kitchen just yards away." Bobby stated.

"Right. What is this, a demon attack?" Sam asked.

"If it is, it's not like anything I ever saw and I've seen plenty." Bobby replied.

"This sounds familiar." I told them.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked.

"I don't know. I can't put my finger on it." I told him rubbing my head. "I'll think of it."

"Well, what now? What should we do?" Dean asked Bobby.

"Uh, _we _are not gonna do anything." Isaac told him.

"What do you mean?" Sam frowned at him.

Just then my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number. I walked into the other room, answering it. "Hello?" There was silence on the other end. "Hello?" I asked again.

"Hi, Evelyn." A female voice told me.

"What do you want?" I frowned into the phone.

"Did you find out about the blood yet?" She asked.

"What the _fuck_ do you want?" I repeated coldly.

"You know it's not over. Just because you managed to kill Azazel doesn't mean it's over." She told me. I could hear the smile in her voice.

"It's all over. It all ended with yellow-eyes. I don't give a shit what you say to me. You're a fucking demon." I shot into the phone.

"I was right before, wasn't I?"

I hung up the phone, pressing it against my lips. Taking a deep breath I went to my bag. The whiskey burned but it would take the edge off. I didn't need this. Of all things, I didn't want to hear from her. My phone vibrated. I opened the text. It was her again. _By the way, congrats on opening the door._ I deleted it and took another drink from the bottle. I put it back hearing arguing from the other room.

"Guys, this isn't helping. Dean." Sam said looking at his brother.

I frowned, stepping next to my fiancé. I leaned against him. "What's going on?"

"We're being blamed." Dean replied looking at Isaac.

"Look, there are a couple hundred more demons out there now. We don't know where they are. When they'll strike. There ain't enough hunters in the world to handle something like this. You brought war down on us. On all of us." Isaac told us.

"Okay. That's quite enough testosterone for now." Tamara said and pulled her husband from the room.

"I hear you there." I smiled at her as she moved past me.

Dean and I stood there next to each other. Sam glanced at us before going to find Bobby. I sighed and Dean nodded. I didn't know what to say to him. That troubled me more than anything else. The day I couldn't talk to him was the day we started to fall apart. But maybe it was true. Maybe we were starting to fall apart.

"You can talk to me." He told me softly, reading my thoughts.

"I know." I told him nodding.

"So tell me what you're thinking." He told me.

"I don't want to fight and I don't want to cry. I'm trying to deal with this, Dean. I really am, but I'm not getting very far. I've been…" I started but stopped when my throat started to clench. "I've been having the worst nightmares." I said and looked at him. "It just adds to the weight of knowing you're going to die. They are all centered around your death. I see it every time I go to sleep. Sometimes I get to save you. Sometimes it's not quite as bloody as the last one." I told him trying to keep myself from crying. "I'm trying to keep my head. I'm trying not to let it change everything. But it's hard." I said furrowing my brows. "I don't want to say goodbye and I don't want to be angry all the time. I just want to love you." I said finally breaking a smile. Dean furrowed his brows, pulling me against him. "I just want to love you."

"It'll be okay." He said kissing my hair. I shook my head, fighting back tears. "I love you." He said and smiled at me. I smiled back, putting my hands on the sides of his face. I kissed him deeply. "You know what I think?" He asked. I shook my head, kissing him again. "I think that when this is over we need a little us time. Just do something together."

"I would love that." I told him and kissed him again, pulling him against me.

He kissed me again before wrapping his arm around my waist. We went to help everyone else as we locked down the house. I was closing the shades when a figure outside caught my eye. I froze, my pulse starting to race. I heard something behind me. I turned to look and when I turned back to the window the figure was gone. I chose to ignore it. The last thing I needed was something else to go wrong.


	3. For I Have Sinned

**Disclaimer: You know it.**

**A/N: This was a two parter and just to get it going I decided to put them both up at the same time. Enjoy!  
**

* * *

_**Chapter Three: …For I Have Sinned**_

The next morning there was another murder. A woman killed another over a pair of shoes. We immediately went to investigate it. Trying to put together the pieces to what was going on. Dean was talking to a sales clerk while Sam and I did the actual work. Dean was good at getting info with his good looks and charm. I wasn't jealous but it didn't mean I liked it.

"Dean, what are you doing?" Sam asked as we walked up to him.

"Comforting the bereaved. What are you doing?" Dean smiled back.

"Workin'. Dead body. Possible demon attack, that kind of stuff." Sam said nonchalantly.

Dean coughed, putting on his pouty face. "Sam, I'm sorry. It's just, you know, I don't have much time left, and, uh…" He said and coughed again. "I gotta make every second count."

"Yeah, right. All right. I'm sorry." Sam told him.

"Don't fall for his bullshit." I frowned at Sam. "And, baby, stop flirting. I might have to get angry with you."

"Sorry." Dean frowned moving to my side.

I nodded and listened as the men discussed the case. My head was everywhere but where it needed to be. I should have been helping put the pieces together. Instead I was lost in my own thoughts about what I know and what I don't. Of what's to come and what would happen after. I was dwelling again. But it was a living nightmare. All of this. The smell of the house. Looking at Dean every day knowing what was going to happen. It was like finding out that your significant other was dying of cancer. Only when they die they would more then likely go to heaven. They were sick and then they died. Dean was perfectly healthy and when he died he wasn't going to heaven. Hell was his only destination.

"Hey!" I heard Dean's voice practically yell.

"What?" I asked coming back to the present.

"Did you hear anything we just said?" He frowned.

I sighed and shook my head. "No, sorry." I said running my fingers through my hair.

"Somethin' wrong?" Bobby asked me, concerned.

"I'm fine." I smiled at him. They all looked at me unbelievingly. I nodded and shrugged. "Just a lot of talking in my head." I told them.

"Well shut it up and get your head back in the game." Bobby frowned at me.

"Sorry." I said averting my eyes.

They all looked at each other and walked away. I followed them into the back room. We started to screen the tapes. Watching any interaction the woman may have had before the incident. A man was talking to her. He touched her before she went to the other woman. He grinned and walking away. After we ID'd the guy it was time to get to work. We had to find him. I went with Sam while Bobby and Dean went on their own. I was almost afraid to admit that I was okay being away from Dean right now. Sam didn't say anything as we walked down the street. He frowned and slowed. I watched him, frowning at his own. He looked behind him before starting to walk again.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I thought someone was behind me." He replied. I frowned but pushed it aside. "So, you wanna talk?" He asked.

"Yes and no." I replied.

"Of all the people to talk to about this. You know I'm your guy." He told me.

"I know." I smiled at him. "I just can't stop thinking about it." I told him.

"You're not the only one." He stated sadly.

"I know." I told him. "But I've been having nightmares. I can't seem to get them out of my head. We fight all the time now. It's my fault. I'm not denying that. It's just…" I said and stopped throwing up my hands.

"It's just what?" Sam asked.

"That I have no power here. I can't help him. Not helping him means I can't help myself. There is nothing I can do. Nothing _you_ can do." I told him.

"I can do something." Sam told me.

"What? What, Sam, what can you do?" I asked him.

He looked at me but didn't reply. I nodded and took a deep breath. "I'll fix this, Evy. I'm going to make it okay."

He was too stubborn to face the truth of the matter. But I smiled at him. "Thanks, Sammy."

He put his arm around me. "Just try and find a way not to dwell on it so much."

"Believe me. I'm trying." I replied.

* * *

I laughed as Sam pounded on the window of Bobby's car. Dean jumped on the other side. Sam opened the door.

"It's not funny." Dean frowned.

"Yeah." Sam smiled pushing Dean forward with the seat so he and I could crawl into the back. "All right, so- So John Doe's name is, uh, Walter Rosen. He's from Oak Park just west of Chicago. Went missing a week ago."

"The night the Devil's Gate opened?" Dean asked.

"Damn straight." I told him.

"So you think he's possessed?" Dean asked.

"It's a good bet. So what, uh, he just walks up to someone, touches them and they go stark raving psycho or something?" Sam asked.

"Those demons that got out of that gate, they'll be able to do things we haven't seen." Bobby told us.

"You mean, the demons we let out."

"Sammy…" I said putting my hand on his arm. He just looked at me briefly.

"Guys." Dean said watching out the front. Walter was on his way into the bar. "All right. Show time."

"Wait a minute." Bobby told him.

"What?" Dean frowned.

"What did I just say? We don't know what to expect out of this guy. We should tail him till we know." Bobby told him.

"He's right." I said putting my hand on Dean's shoulder.

"Oh, so he kills someone and we just sit here with our junk in our hands?" He frowned at Bobby.

"We're no good dead. We're not going to make a move till we know what the score is." Bobby told him.

"Hey, Bobby, I don't think that's an option." Sam replied.

"Why not?" Bobby frowned at him.

Sam nodded toward a car. We watched Isaac and Tamara getting out of it, walking toward the bar.

"Damn it." Bobby said as he got out.

"Shit." I said as we all followed. "What do we do?" I asked.

The door was locked. Bobby and Dean started to use their shoulders to break through the door. It wasn't working. Soon there was screaming from inside. I couldn't help the fear that was moving through me. I could only imagine what was happening behind the door.

"Come on!" Bobby yelled as he ran back to the car.

We all loaded back into it before gun whipped the car around. He drove backwards, accelerating. The car broke through the wall. There was a circle of demons. One held Tamara. Isaac was on the floor in a pool of his own blood. We all quickly got out of the car, splashing holy water in every direction. The demons backed off. Sam saw Isaac before grabbing Tamara from the demon's hands. She yelled to her husband but he was dead. There was no helping him now. I covered him as he got back into the car with her. I moved in behind him as Bobby got behind the steering wheel. I yelled to Dean as he moved toward the demons. I tried to get out again when I saw his flask empty, but Sam held me back. I was yelling at him as he fought momentarily with a demon before throwing him into the trunk. He rushed back to the front seat, closing the door as Bobby sped off.

We returned to the house only to have a hysterical Tamara tell us she was going back for her husband. There was nothing to go back for, other then his body. We had to make it through this before that could be done. His body would be retrieved. We had one demon on the inside and several more on the outside. One thing at a time.

"And I say we're going back." Tamara told us. It was hard not to be on her side.

"Now, just hold on a second." Sam told her.

"I left my husband bloody on the floor!" Tamara yelled at him.

"Okay, I understand that, but we can't go back." He said trying to reason with her.

"We'll go back for him, I promise. We just can't do it right now." I told her gently.

"Fine, then you stay. But I'm heading back to that bar." She replied.

"I'll go with her." Dean told us.

"It's suicide, Dean." Sam stated.

"So what? I'm dead already." Dean replied.

"Dean!" I yelled and grabbed his jacket.

"How you gonna kill them? You can't shoot them. You can't stab them. They're not just gonna wait in line to get exorcised." Sam told him.

"I don't care!" Tamara yelled at him.

"We don't even know how many of them there are." Sam stated.

"Yeah, we do. There's seven. Do you have any idea who we're up against?" Bobby said holding open a book.

"No. Who?" Dean asked.

"The seven deadly sins. Live and in the flesh." He replied.

"Shit." I frowned at him.

Dean scoffed. I still held his jacket. "'What's in the box?' Heh." We all just looked at him. "Brad Pitt? _Se7en_? No?"

"Do you really think now's the appropriate time for that?" I frowned at him. He just shrugged at me. I couldn't help but hide a smile. It was a little funny.

Bobby slammed the book shut and threw it at Dean. "What's this?" Dean said looking at it.

"Binsfeld's Classification of demons. In 1589, Binsfeld ID'd the seven sins. Not just as human vices, but as actual devils." Bobby told him.

It all seemed to make sense now. The family had been touched by Sloth. The shopper had been touched with Envy. Isaac had been touched with an awful Gluttony. I ran my fingers through my hair as Tamara's grief started to spill over again.

"I don't give a rat's ass if they're the Three Stooges or the Four Tops. I'm gonna slaughter every last one of them." She yelled at Bobby.

"We already did it your way. You burst in there half-cocked and look what happened. These demons haven't been top side in half a millennium. We're talking medieval, Dark Ages. We've never faced anything close to this. So we're going to take a breath…and figure out what our next move is!" Bobby yelled in her face. He took a deep calming breath. "I'm sorry for your loss."

Everyone moved into the next room. I stayed where I was. As much as I didn't want to dwell I couldn't help the thought in the back of my head that this was going to be me. Would I react like her? Would I go out and seek revenge? I closed my eyes before leaving the house. I went to my bag and pulled out the bottle. I looked at it before putting it back. Only a second later it was out again. I guzzled as much as I could with one breath before replacing it. I leaned against the car and looked into the night sky. The stars were there. Beautiful as they ever were. I could hear the faint talking inside. But I didn't need to be in there. The others could fill me in. I heard when the demon left the possessed. It was only a few minutes later when Dean came from the front door.

"The others are going to be coming for us. We better get ready." He told me.

"Okay." I said giving him a small smile.

"I'm sorry about all this." He told me.

"We've been apologizing for too much lately." I stated.

"Yeah, but I'm still sorry." He told me.

"Me too." I replied taking his hand. "Do you think I'll act like her?" I asked him. "Seek revenge at all costs?"

Dean looked at me before shaking his head. "No. You're going to be okay. You're going to keep fighting and just be you."

I smiled and kissed him deeply. "Thank you."

We went back in and put salt in front of everything. We loaded ourselves up with holy water and shotguns. It was going to be one hell of a fight. We waited, but soon the radio turned on and the dial moved up and down before settling on a song. They were here. We took our places. We could hear Isaac outside, yelling for his wife. But he was dead. We all knew that. He taunted her, trying to get her to come out. In the end his taunting worked. Tamara yelled out before we heard the door burst open and watched as she tackled the remains of her husband. We watched the other demons file into the house. We moved into the hall where demons came at us. Dean and Sam went opposite directions as one came into the room I was in. I took out my holy water and splashed her with it. I didn't know which one she was but I wasn't much in the mood for conversation. She rushed me but I managed to get behind her, splashing her across the back. I poured salt in my hand and went to put it in her mouth. It didn't work. She hit me hard, throwing me against the wall. She punched me hard across the jaw. I fought with her, coming out on the losing end when she screamed and I watched the demon die within her, . When the body fell away the blond woman I'd seen from my dreams was standing in front of me. My eyes grew wide but she was gone before I could say anything. I ran my fingers through my hair before going to find the others.

The fight ended soon after the blond arrived. She killed the remaining demons that had attacked Sam. Dean and Bobby had taken care of their own. We had all made it through unscathed. All except for Tamara. Come morning all the bodies are being burned. All killed with the knife. There were two survivors out of the seven of them. While we took care of the possessed bodies, Tamara had wrapped Isaac and was burning him a few yards away.

"Think she's gonna be all right?" Sam asked.

"No, definitely not." Dean replied.

"You can't blame her." I said and started to walk toward her.

I didn't think she wanted to talk. She probably didn't want company. But I couldn't just let her be alone. She'd be alone a lot now. I stepped next to her, gently rubbing her back.

"Hi." I said softly. It was the only thing I could think to say.

"How am I supposed to go on without him?" She asked me. She was more composed then I would have thought.

"I don't know." I told her honestly. "I can hardly imagine what you're going through."

"Sure you can." She told me. "You have a ring don't you?"

I twisted it on my finger. "Yeah, but we still have to try and make it down the aisle."

"Do it. Before it's too late." She told me.

She walked away. I was only a few steps behind her. Everything was packed and we were ready to move on. Tamara was dealing but I was worried about her being alone. But alone was what she wanted. She got into her truck and drove off. We said our goodbyes to Bobby before heading to the car.

"So were to?" Dean asked.

"Disneyland." I grinned at him.

"I was thinking Louisiana, maybe." Sam replied.

"Little early for Mardi Gras, isn't it?" Dean asked his brother.

"Yeah. Listen I was talking to Tamara and she mentioned this Hoodoo priestess outside Treefort that might be able to help up out, you know, with your- Your demon deal." He replied.

"Nah." Dean replied.

"Here it comes." I said quietly and leaned against the car.

"Nah? What does that mean, 'Nah?'?" Sam asked him.

"Sam, no Hoodoo spell's gonna break this deal. It's a goose chase." Dean replied.

"We don't know that, Dean." Sam told him.

"Sam, don't be naïve." I told him as gently as I could.

"Yes, we do. Forget it, she can't help." Dean told him.

"Look it's worth-" Sam told him.

"We're not going and that's that. What about Reno? Huh?" Dean said trying to change the subject.

"You know what? I've had it. I've been bending over backwards trying to be nice to you and I don't care anymore." Sam told him.

"Sammy…" I said looking at him.

"That didn't last long." Dean told him.

"What did you expect?" I asked.

"Yeah, you know what? I've been busting my ass trying to keep you alive, Dean. And you act like you couldn't care less. What you got some kind of death wish or something?"

"It's not like that." Dean told him. The sad part was coming.

"Then what's it like, Dean?"

"Sam-" Dean frowned.

"Please, tell me." Sam asked.

"We trap a Crossroads demon. Trick it, try to welch our way out of the deal in any way, you die. Okay? You die. Those are the terms. There's no way out of it. If you try to find a way, so help me God, I'm gonna stop you." Dean told him.

"You knew?" Sam asked me.

I nodded. "That's why I haven't been trying very hard."

"How could you make that deal, Dean?"

"Because I couldn't live with you dead. Couldn't do it."

"So, what now? I live and you die?" Sam asked.

"That's the general idea, yeah."

"Yeah, well, you're a hypocrite, Dean. How did you feel when Dad sold his soul for you? I was there. I remember. You were twisted and broken and now you go and do the same thing. To me. What you did was selfish."

"Yeah, you're right, it was selfish, but I'm okay with that."

"Me too." I said softly.

"I'm not." Sam replied.

"Tough. After everything I've done for this family, I think I'm entitled. Truth is, I'm tired, Sam. It's like there's a light at the end of the tunnel." He told his brother. I looked at him sadly.

"That's hellfire, Dean." Sam told him sadly.

"Eh. Well, whatever. You're alive, I feel good for the first time in a long time. I got a year to live, Sam. I'd like to make the most of it. So, what do you say we kill some evil sons of bitches and we raise a little hell?" He grinned at his brother.

"You're unbelievable." Sam stated as he got into the car.

"Very true." Dean said and grinned at me.

"He's right." I smiled at him.

"Yeah, but you love me anyway."

I laughed and kissed him deeply. "I really, really do."

_Raise a little hell_

_Raise a little hell_

_Raise a little hell_

_If you don't like what you got_

_Why don't you change it?_

_If your world is all screwed up_

_Rearrange it_

_Raise a little hell_

_Raise a little hell_

_Raise a little hell_


	4. Pirates and Play Things

**Disclaimer: The usual**

**A/N: Chapter four! Anybody even like this story?! Well, I know one person does. Thank you Lewtam! You are the BEST! Anyway, chapter four...**

* * *

_**Chapter Four: Pirates and Play Things**_

It would have been nice to say that it was easy to take a break and have some fun. To take a step back and just spend some time with the people you care about. We just weren't that lucky. There were new faces to deal with, new enemies and new places.

"It's about time." I told the blond standing in front of me.

I had been seeing her more frequently. Sam had been a little off and it was all centered around the times I had seen her as well. She was a demon. That much I knew. Her intentions were a completely different notion. She seemed to have a plan. I didn't like demon plans. They ended up with one of my boys getting hurt. Or me, and I was tired of that.

"I don't have a lot to say to you." She told me.

"Didn't think you did. Just tell me what you want."

"What, Sam keeping secrets?"

"To an extent. You're Ruby. You're a demon. What I want to know is what you want with Sam."

"And you honestly think I'm going to tell you that?" She grinned at me.

I gave a short laugh and scratched my neck with my knife. "No, honestly I don't. But it never hurts to ask."

"…I suppose." She smiled.

"There actually is a question I wanted to ask you. You've been hanging around and don't seem to have a plan to leave."

"Shoot!" She said excitedly.

"Do you know a Marissa?" I asked her coldly.

The smile on her face faltered and my stomach lurched. She obviously knew who I was talking about and that scared me. If she knew and knew what Marissa was talking about…

"Do you know what she wants?" I asked her.

"This isn't something I'm going to discuss with you. In fact, I think I'm going to take off." She told me.

I closed my eyes and rubbed my brow. "Look…" I said but when I looked up she was already gone.

I sighed and sat on the bed. Toying with the knife in my hand, I tried to think of everything Marissa had told me. The blood was bad. I didn't know what blood and I wasn't sure how bad. All I knew was that blood was involved and Sam was in trouble. Dean was already on his way to Hell and I was going to have to watch out for Sammy. But I couldn't do that if he was doing something I couldn't control. She made it sound like it had something to do with me as well. Something was going to happen and as little as my warning was, I knew I wouldn't be able to control this one. I didn't even know what I was looking for.

When Dean and Sam returned to the house they found me in the empty bathtub, my knife still in hand, with a distant look in my eyes.

"Do you really think that's a good idea right now?" Dean frowned at me.

"I haven't seen any ghost ship. I think I'm safe." I told him with a cocked head.

"Still…" He said and climbed in, sitting across from me.

I smiled as I made room for him. "How'd it go?"

"We ran into Bela." He told me.

My smile faltered and I averted my eyes from his. "Oh."

"Evy, don't be like that. She's not even hot." He told me.

"You don't have to lie." I told him. "She's gorgeous and I'm…" I said and stopped.

"Don't be jealous." He said but had a small smile on his face. "You know I only have eyes for you."

"I know." I said looking at him. "But sometimes I can't help the twang of jealously I get every once in a while. Jo's another sore spot of mine." I said pointing the knife at him.

He laughed and grabbed the knife from my hands. I gave it up quickly and he leaned in, kissing me. "I love you and only you." He whispered, his lips still against mine.

"I love you too." I whispered back kissing him passionately.

* * *

I stood in the small park, waiting for her to arrive. I didn't know what I was doing and I didn't have a plan. The only thing going through my mind was what I was going to do about Sam. I didn't know what he was capable of or what blood was being spoken of. All I knew was that I needed to help him and I needed to do this now. If I needed Dean's help I would need to know what was going on before his time was up.

"I hear you've been looking for me."

I turned to see Marissa grinning at me. "You heard right."

"Searching for answers are we?"

"You need to tell me more about the blood." I told her.

She laughed and shook her head. "Honey, I'm not telling you a damn thing. Why would I help you? Demon, remember?"

"Yeah, but I'll give you something in return." I told her.

"What could you possibly give me?" She asked with a small amount of curiosity.

"Would my soul do the trick?" I asked her.

She eyed me with a mischievous half smile on her face. "You're serious."

"If it'll help Sam." I told her.

"All of this just for your boyfriend's brother?"

"He's like a brother to me."

"Is this because of Dean?" She grinned wider.

"What?" I frowned at her.

"He's already on his way to Hell. You just want to join him."

"Dean has nothing to do with this." I told her shaking my head.

"You're a little liar." She grinned walking toward me.

I kept my eyes on hers as she slowly moved toward me. Her eyes became black making her look twice as sinister.

"You honestly think you'll be with him in Hell? You don't know what Hell is." She told me.

"I've been there. I know." I told her crossing my arms.

"You have no idea what Hell is like." Her smile was faltering. "You think you want to go to Hell? You think you want to spend eternity in Hell with Dean. Do you want to hear him screaming? Do you want to watch him being torn apart over and over and over? You really have no idea what Hell is like."

"It's home to you." I told her.

She gave a short laugh and finally took her eyes off of mine. "You really think Hell is home to me? I was human first you know." She told me.

I frowned at her and cleared my throat. "That doesn't matter to me. Do you want to make the deal or not?"

"I'm not a crossroads demon. I don't make deals." She grinned.

In the next moment she was gone. I took a deep breath and tried not to break down. This had been a waste of time. It was going to be a waste of time. She was never going to help me. I was a pawn and she had all the cards to move me wherever she wanted me.

"Didn't go too well, did it?"

I turned to see Ruby walking toward me. "Checking in on Sam?"

"I'm watching. Saw your little encounter."

"I know that you know her. Why won't you help me? You want Sam to do whatever it is he's going to do, don't you?"

"I want you all to win. That's not a secret and it's not a lie. What Sam ends up doing is on him. What you end up doing is on you. But your part to play is slowly fading. You're not like Sam. You're not as wanted as Sam. Just because you two share the blood inside of you doesn't mean you both share the same fate. You're good is stronger than your bad."

"So is Sam's."

"Is it?" She grinned. "You have Dean in a way Sam doesn't. You've got more going for you."

"Shut up." I shot at her.

"Fine." She said raising her arms. "I'll leave you to your thoughts."

She walked away, leaving me alone. The sun was setting. Sam and Dean would be getting ready for the party. I wasn't going. I didn't have a part to play this time. Bela would be accompanying Dean. I hated the idea but I would let it go. It was a job. She held most of the cards for this one. We had a job to do and if that meant I sit this one out then so be it. The boys could handle themselves. I would be fine. I had my own job to work on, even though it was a continuous circle that led nowhere.

* * *

The bar was quiet. Cards were being dealt while drinks were consumed. I sipped my beer, waiting, for what I wasn't sure, but I was waiting all the same. My phone vibrated, looking at it I smiled, Dean's sarcastic remarks were nothing short of hilarious. The smile was still on my face when Marissa appeared at my side. My smile disappeared and I downed the rest of my beer before asked for another.

"You're stubborn." She stated.

"And you're a tease." I replied.

"You know this'll only last so long. Despite my enjoyment of seeing you squirm I'm not your little lap dog. I am not going to let a mere human tell me what to do."

"You used to be human." I stated.

She grinned at me, "Touché."

"Come with me for a second." I told her and made my way to the back alley.

There was no plan moving through my head, all I knew was that I had to do something. I moved away from the door as Marissa followed. There was an awning behind the back door. I moved past it while Marissa remained underneath it. A force stopped her from following me any further. I turned, grinning, as she realized what was happening. I stepped forward, looking up at the devil's trap above her head.

"You little –"

"Little what?" I grinned at her. "All you have are words now and that's all that it requires to save you."

"You think this is going to help your cause? What exactly do you plan to get out of this?" She shot at me.

"You know what I want. You have information that I can't seem to find anywhere else. I've tried and I've failed. But I need to know what you meant. It's been a long time. You talked about blood. About Sam turning to the dark side. About me not being able to save him, or Dean. But what kind of blood? What is Sam going to do?"

"I don't know." She told me.

"Like hell you don't!" I yelled at her. "You've been going on and on about what you do know and now you're telling me that you don't?"

"Pretty much, yeah." She replied.

I shook my head at her and started to chant. She didn't seem to take me seriously until it started to hurt. When she started to yell I stopped and looked at her expectantly. She just glared at me. I continued to chant, hoping she'd break before I finished. The yelling turned into screaming and I stopped, stepping up to her.

"Shall we try this again?" I asked her.

"I know what's expected of him but I don't know everything. I'm not that high up." She told me. I continued to look at her, waiting. "I'm serious. I know that he was supposed to be at Azazel's side. He was like his right hand man. But all of that changed when you killed him. We have no leader. Sam was supposed to lead us and…"

"And what?" I asked her harshly.

"Demon blood."

"What?" I asked not a little taken aback.

"Something about demon blood."

"Both of us already have demon blood in us."

"I know. There's more. I don't know how much but Sam's in trouble if he follows the path he's supposed to." I just looked at her. "I'm telling you the truth."

"It's not going to save you though." I told her.

"What?! You told me words would save me. I gave you words." She shot at me.

The fear in her voice was gratification enough for me. But still, I wasn't about to let her remain topside. She had caused far too much harm. Even though it turned out that her bark was worse than her bite.

"This is revenge for nearly killing Dean. Among other things." I told her coldly.

"I didn't know you were pregnant." She said quickly.

"What does my pregnancy have to do with any of this?" I asked her.

"Well, the whole knife thing and all." She told me.

"How…never mind. Listen, I'm done with you. You gave me the information I was looking for. I'll take it from here."

"What if I lied?"

"Did you?" I asked her, anger starting to bubble again. She just looked at me. I shook my head and smiled, "Sorry."

I finished the chant and she was pulled from her host. The girl fell to the ground. I ran to her, she was still alive. Calling 911, I waited for them to get there before slipping into the shadows without being seen. I'd call later to see if she was alright. I smiled to myself, feeling like I had accomplished something big. Even though it might not have been as big as it could've been. But it was an end. She had it coming. I would have caught up with her eventually. At least this way she gave me something before she left.

When I returned to the abandoned house we were squatting in I could see the lights on inside. Grinning, I rushed inside.

"It's finished?" I asked as I walked in. The first person I saw was Dean, a concerned look on his face. "Bela." I said looking at the next person in site. I frowned at Dean.

"She saw the ship." Dean said answering my look.

"She stole the hand first." Sam added.

"Okay." I said and walked up to Dean. "We're saving her then?"

"I guess." Dean replied.

"Why? She's been nothing but trouble." I said and glared at her.

"I haven't done anything to you." She shot at me.

"You shot Sam." I frowned at her.

"Okay, nothing to you personally."

"I'm sure my time is coming." I nodded at her. "Dean?" I said looking at him.

He nodded before following me into the next room. "We can't just let her die." He told me before I could say anything.

"Why the hell not? She's been nothing but trouble and now we're helping her?" I frowned at him.

"Well, yeah." He replied and started to pace.

"I don't like it." I told him.

"Well, tough." He frowned at me. "I'm sorry if you don't like it. You don't have to like everything we do."

"You're right, I don't. But this one thing is going a bit far for someone you don't even care about." I shot back at him.

"She helped us with this job. We owe her."

"She didn't help me. I managed my job all on my own." I told him.

"You found her?" He asked, his demeanor softening.

"Yeah, and exorcised her. But you wouldn't want to hear about that. You're busy with your own job." I told him, leaving the house from the back door, slamming it behind me.

I heard the door open but I was already in the shadows. He didn't try and follow me, but from the shadows I took a small amount of pleasure in the way he ran his fingers through his hair. Slamming the door again when he went back inside. I turned away from the house, having a split second to duck as a fist came flying at my face. I side kicked my attacker in the abdomen before getting to my feet. I was grabbed before I made it two steps. Pain erupted in my head as my hair was grabbed. He pulled hard enough to slam me to the ground on my back. I rolled as a large foot came into view. I stood and faced my attacker. He was a large man. He was black, making it hard to see him. I couldn't help but feel a bit intimidated by him. He also had the advantage of having a demon possessing him. Reaching for my knife he lunged at me. I went to sidestep away from him but was a second too slow. My knife was barely halfway up when he grabbed it. He bent my wrist to the point where it nearly snapped before his other grabbed me by the neck. Holding me off the ground he brought his face close to mine.

"You sent her back." He stated.

"Yeah." I chocked out before kneeing him in the groin. He dropped me. I stood in front of him. "And now you can go join her."

I started to chant, avoiding contact with him as he tried to grab me. I was nearly done when I tripped over a root. He was on me before I could think about getting to my feet. He drove a hard blow into my abdomen with his foot. The air was knocked out of me. I crumbled with the pain of the blow. Tears ran down my cheeks as blow after blow entered my stomach. He grabbed my shirt and punched me across the face. The blows didn't stop. When he finally stopped to take a breath I wasn't sure if I would be able to move. But when he came at me again he yelled out as sparks erupted from his mouth and eyes. He fell forward to show Ruby behind him. I just looked at her.

"You're welcome." She said holding out her hand.

"Thank you." I told her weakly.

"It looked like you were losing." She said folding her arms.

I nodded, "I was."

"You should watch your back." She told me.

"Most of the time I do just fine. He was a very large man but I would have won in the end." I told her.

"Sure." She said and walked away.

I just watched her go before turning back to the house. I stumbled into it to find it empty. They were off taking care of Bela. I couldn't understand why it bothered me so much. Dean wasn't going to get caught up in her. I was his and he was mine, but there was something about her that I thought would appeal to him. That was what worried me. But it was better this way. I could tend to my wounds before he got back and everything would be fine.

Looking in the mirror I realized there was no hiding what happened. The white of my left eye was partially red with burst blood vessels. There was already discoloration along my cheekbone and my eyebrow had a nice little gash on it. That was just my face. My abdomen was already littered with bruises as the blood started to flow to the surface. I ran my fingers through my hair only to reveal a nice abrasion from the side of my hand all down my forearm. I sighed and found a washcloth, happy that the house still had running water. There was only cold water but it would have to do. It actually felt amazing on my skin as it started to swell.

"Great, just great." I told my reflection.

After cleaning myself up I went into the main room to wait for them to return. Taking my journal, I made a new entry for the night. Writing down what happened with Marissa and what happened with, who I could only assume to be, her lover. I was just closing it up when the doors opened. Dean came in without his brother or Bela. I looked at him, giving him a small smile.

"How'd it go?" I asked him nonchalantly.

"Bela will live to see another day." He told me with his hands in his pockets.

"And the job's really done this time?" I asked.

"Yeah." He said and stepped towards me. "What happened to you?" He frowned.

"It's nothing." I told him. "I'll be fine."

"Okay, I'll let it go on the grounds that we're not exactly happy with each other at the moment." He replied.

"It wouldn't make a difference if I told you what happened. It was a demon. He's dead. It's over and done with." I replied coldly standing to face him.

"So is this job and our connection to Bela. She's not going to be coming around or anything. She's just a person we deal with from time to time. I don't understand why you are so threatened by her." He replied, bringing it up again.

"I'm not. It's not even about that." I said furrowing my brows.

"Then what is it?" He frowned.

"I just…I don't know." I said averting my eyes, not wanting to make a big deal out of it for no reason.

"I'm sorry." He told me.

"You don't need to be sorry. I'm sorry for being such a girl about all this. But it's not like there is any guy you can be jealous of. You two are the only men in my life." I replied.

"Yeah, but I was jealous of my dad when he was still alive." Dean admitted.

I couldn't help but smile at that. "So, we're even?"

"Yeah." He said and walked up to me.

He leaned down and kissed my lips gently before moving to my wounds. He was gentle and it felt good. It was comforting. Sam came in then, a small smile on his face. He had been listening. I just smiled back at him as we finished packing before we left town.


	5. Crimson Death

_**Chapter Five: Crimson Death**_

The sun was shining through the window of the hotel room. The curtains had been pulled but were now wide open, nothing stopping the sun from coming in. I sat propped up against a pile of pillows. I was alone for the moment. My fingers were moving the pentagram up and down its chain while my eyes stared at the ring on my finger. What I wanted hadn't changed. Everything I wanted could still be summed up in one word. One name. Dean. But the more I thought about it the more I was afraid that it wouldn't happen. We weren't getting any closer to saying out 'I do's' than we ever were. If anything they were getting farther and farther away. Dean never wanted to talk about it and the thought was more depressing than it was happy. Dean was leaving and I was going to be left here alone. How do you deal with that? I know people deal with it every day. People die from cancer every day and they usually know it's coming. I could use some advice from them right now. Or John. I felt nostalgic for John. He would know what to tell me. He always had an answer or a lesson to teach. I missed that.

Boredom set in and I need to do something, anything, to get my mind off of what I didn't have. I needed to focus on what I did have. And for now I had Dean. He was healthy and we would be happy while he was here. I hoped. I had to try. If anything I could at least look alright for him. Scarfing half a container of sesame chicken, I undressed and walking into the bathroom, I was in the middle of showering when I heard the door open. Assuming it was the boys, I thought nothing of it, but the room remained silent. Too silent for it to be Dean and Sam. I finished quickly, grabbing a towel, wrapping it tightly around myself. When I pulled back the curtain Gordon was staring at me. I instinctively punched him, wanting to cause damage. He fell back, falling between the tub and toilet. He was stuck long enough for me to jump from the tub, rushing into the other room. I pulled on pants and grabbed the first shirt I saw. Gordon was on his feet and in the room now. He lunged at me but I hit him hard in the abdomen, my knee coming in contact with his face as he bent over. I pushed him backward, making him fall. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to hurt him so badly. He had taken everything from me. He had taken my baby and now, here he was, right in front of me. But I was taken by surprise and it would have been smart just to run. But I didn't want to run. I didn't want to be the type who ran. He was one man. A human. I could take a human.

He was on his feet again, his cheek split open. He charged me again. I jumped onto the bed, aiming for my gun that was underneath my pillow. He anticipated my movements, pulling out a large knife. He slashed it at me, making me move away from my weapon. He slashed at me repeatedly as I tried to move away from the blade. I felt pain across my abdomen but it was bearable. I tried moving past him but there was no getting by. He knew I didn't want to run. That I wanted my revenge. But I was out of choices now. I turned and fled the room. I glanced over my shoulder but he was just standing there, watching me. I had no phone and no shoes. I wasn't sure what I was going to do but I'd find the boys. But New York was a big city. Who knew what would happen.

* * *

Pacing in front of a diner I waited. It took me hours to get a hold of them and by the time I had they had already been to the room. Gordon must have tossed it after I left. Apparently it was a mess and since all my things were there Dean and Sam jumped to the first conclusion that came to mind. I put them at ease about me but on edge about Gordon. It would only be a matter of time before he found us again and would try and kill Sam and me. Sometimes I forgot what I had been like. The things I saw. The things I could do. But that was the past. I didn't know why Gordon couldn't let it go. It was over. Sam and I weren't like that anymore. But Gordon couldn't see past it. We would be doing this until one of us succeeded at killing the other.

Dean and Sam picked me up, driving to a different hotel. I sighed as Dean held open the door for me. I walked in, sitting at the table. Dean and Sam brought in our things before Dean sat on the bed in front of me.

"You doing okay?" He asked softly.

"I guess. Nothing like seeing the man who killed our baby every now and again." I smirked at him.

"That's not funny." He frowned.

"It really isn't." I told him but still had a smile on my face. He couldn't help but smile back. "My feet hurt." I complained before going to the bathroom to take care of them.

Dean followed me, leaning against the doorframe. "On a plus side, Sam and I found what we were looking for."

"Oh good, are we all going tonight then?" I asked him.

"Not you."

"Why the hell not?" I frowned.

"After this, I don't think so. You can hardly walk."

"I may limp a little but I've hardly complained or shown any sign of pain. You're just using it as an excuse."

"Maybe."

"Meaning I'm right." I smirked at him. "Just admit it."

"Fine. You're right." He said and smiled.

"Thank you."

"But that doesn't change the fact that you're not going." He added.

"Dean –"

"No, Evy!" He frowned interrupting me. "After what happened last time? After what's already happened? I want you to sit this one out. For my sake. Not yours."

I sighed and just looked at him. It was hard to deny that I couldn't see where he was coming from. It sucked and I didn't want to be left behind but…I couldn't deny that I wasn't afraid. Gordon frightened me. He killed my baby and nearly killed me. He's after Sam. There were a number of reasons why I should lay low for this one. But I didn't want to be left behind either. I didn't want to play the concerned girlfriend while my man was out facing one of the most dangerous men we've ever faced. I could help. I had something to offer. But I didn't want my fear to cloud my judgment. And I had a sickening suspicion that it would.

"Fine." I told him.

"Thank you." He said stepping up to me, kissing my forehead.

Gripping his shirt, I pulled him closer to me, looking him in his beautiful hazel eyes. "But you have to promise me something."

"Of course." He nodded.

"You have to come back in one piece." I replied sadly. "Nothing can happen to you."

"I promise." He said and kissed me deeply. "You better promise the same. I know how you like to get into trouble."

Smiling, I kissed him again. "I promise."

"Alright, feet in the tub." He said motioning to it as he turned on the water.

Without asking him to, he helped clean the small cuts and abrasions on my feet. I played it up, just a little, to keep him with me longer, loving the caring look that was on his face. But as soon as he was done, I was once again left pacing in the hotel room. Dean and Sam were out looking for the missing girls. A vampire named Dixon was behind the recent activity in the city. He was turning girls. All young and blond. But not only did we have the vampires to worry about but we had to stay away from Gordon. He would be after us just as much as we were after him. It had been several hours but he had yet to be seen again. That only meant that he was lying in wait. He would show himself again and he would be prepared. We needed to be as well. Making sure I was ready, I cleaned and loaded the guns, sharpened the knives, and made sure they were easily accessible from anywhere in the room. To me anyway, they'd be out of site to anyone else.

For a while it worked. I was distracted from what I was being left out of. But as time ticked by, my girlish worrying ways came out and I found myself opening my phone to text Dean. I needed to be sure that he was okay. That nothing bad had happened. The whole two minutes it took for him to respond felt like twenty. I was on edge and, as much as I hated to admit it, afraid. But they were fine. They were safe and still on task with the vampires. They were getting close to Dixon. I took a deep breath, nodding to myself that this was going to go as smoothly as it could.

I was calmly sitting and watching TV when there was a scratching sound coming from outside. Like a nail was being dragged across the door and the glass. I froze before quickly grabbing a weapon. My blood ran cold as I saw half of Gordon's face in the gap in the curtains. He had come back. It was moments like this that I hated being a woman. I hated being the fastest way of hurting the Winchesters. I didn't want to be that person. I didn't want to be the cause of pain for Dean and Sam. This would not be like last time. I could take him. I knew I could. All I had to do was face the fear inside of me. Bury it so I could do what was needed.

"I can do this. I can do this." I told myself as I heard him pound against the door.

I moved to the door. Listening, I waited to time the hit against the door. Timing it right, I opened the door as he brought his weight against it. Grinning, I lunged and slashed him across his back. He yelled in pain, whipping around to face me. Only the smile on my face disappeared. His eyes were red, his fangs showing. He had been turned. He had been made a vampire. I couldn't do this. Now that he was no longer human I didn't have any advantage over him. He rushed me. I dodged out of the way but he had extra speed and strength on his side now. He hit my back, sending me slamming against the wall. I was stunned long enough for him to reach me. He pulled me from the floor by the throat. I spit in his face. He just grinned at me.

"Looks like I get to take you as bait again after all." He grinned at me.

Smiling back at him, I grabbed the knife hidden against my thigh and thrust it upward into his abdomen. He released me, giving me a moment to run. Feeling my shoulder get grabbed, I spun and slashed for his neck, but he caught my arm, knocking the knife from my hand before throwing me back against the wall. Finding myself in the exact same position, I knew what was coming. It was inevitable. And I hated it.

"They know you're here. They're not as stupid or as blind as you think." I told him.

"When it comes to you they are." He replied.

"Sam isn't. He'll make the calls."

"Dean wont being seeing straight for a while."

"He'll figure it out. You can do whatever you want with me but you're not leaving New York alive." I smiled.

Gordon's smile disappeared. He slammed my head against the wall, knocking me out.

* * *

Coming to, I found myself, once again, tied to a chair. It was ridiculous how often I'd been tied to a chair. I was gagged and blindfolded as well this time. The gag was so tight I could hardly swallow. Barely any noise was going to be able to escape my lips. But my ears worked fine. I could hear a girl screaming in the other room. Only it wasn't from being hurt. Something was going on inside of her. A hunger was being brought out. I knew what she was becoming. What was happening to her. But more than that it told me that she was ready. That she was ready and that she was hungry.

"She needs to feed soon." Gordon stated as he came into the room. Attempting to steady my breathing I listened to him walk toward me. "I'm going to let her have some fun with you." My pulse started to race. I was completely trapped at the moment. "But a nonmoving target is just no fun." He told me as he untied me. Retying my hands behind my back. "Try fighting now. All you have are your feet and your ears."

Torture. Of course. He wanted to cause pain. He had tried to kill me and Sam and had failed. Now was his time to get even. His thoughts on us hadn't changed one bit. He still thought us as a big a threat as he did before. I was in trouble. Hearing the door open, his steps faded, making my heart pound as I tried to go through any scenario that I could to keep myself alive. I took a series of deep breaths focusing on what was going to happen next. I heard shallow breathing somewhere to my left. A hushed footstep followed by the sound of a foot sliding across the floor. She was facing me, sidestepping around her prey. She stopped. I could practically feel her breath on my skin. It was the slightest noise that told me she was lunging. I stepped back, feeling the air shift as she moved past me. She quickly turned and hit me hard. I tasted blood as it rolled down the corner of my mouth. I moved quickly as I tried to pinpoint her location. She had her nails down my back a second later, my muffled screams mixed with her feral ones. I was slammed against the wall, falling to my stomach. This was bad. This was one of those moments you never thought would come. But you always think someone would be there to save you. If not, you always think you can handle it yourself. I couldn't handle this one. Not on my own and in this moment it felt like this was it. But as far as ways of going out goes, at least it would be with a bang. Dean's face appeared in my mind. A flash of our life together. No regrets. The next thing I knew there was a searing pain in my neck as teeth set in.

* * *

There was yelling, screaming, and the sound of fighting. My neck was painful and still felt warm from my blood. I moved my wrists, the ropes dug into them. The pain searing up my arms. Gordon was strong but it wasn't the first time I had been tied up and it wouldn't be the last. All I knew was that I wasn't dead and I was slightly surprised about that. It didn't help that I could still feel the blood flowing from the wounds. The fighting seemed to intensify as I continued to struggle with the ropes. Trying to find anything that I would be able to use to cut the ropes. I was grabbed and thrown before my muffled screaming filled the room as she racked her nails down my back. She picked me up and threw me again. Only this time it was through a glass window that must have been leaning against the wall. My mind immediately went into action as my fingers fumbled for a piece big enough to hold. I could hear the vampire pacing in front of me. She could smell the blood and she wasn't going to be able to hold herself back for long. I had already started to cut the ropes when her quick steps meant she was coming for me again. Her teeth sunk into my neck again. I tried to cut faster but I was getting weak.

Finally freeing myself I shoved her away from before I pulled the gag and blindfold off. My eyes took too long to adjust. I was grabbed and thrown again. I stood and brought my hands up. I wasn't sure if I had the strength to fight her but I would try. She yelled out and lunged at me. I still had the shard of glass in my hand and I stabbed it through her neck, using all the strength I had left to pull it through her neck, semi-decapitating her. I quickly grabbed her hair and finished the job, dropping to my knees as her body fell to the floor. I put my hands on my neck to feel the holes she had caused. Blood was still coming out of them. My eyes adjusted and I slowly managed to get to my feet, stumbling toward the door. I was lightheaded and weak, but my guys were here. They were here and I would help them no matter what condition I was in.

Following the sounds of the men, I found Dean staring through a broken door. Looking through another I was in time to witness Sam decapitating Gordon with barbed wire. Looking at Dean, his face said something was wrong. Frowning, I looked back at Sam. He looked dangerous. Something was off. With my hand on my neck I went to Dean.

"Hey." I said looking down at him.

"Hey." He replied looking up at me. "You okay?" He frowned.

"I'd say I missed all the fun but I was having some of my own." I told him as I held out my hand to him.

"You look like shit." He said taking my hand.

"Thank you." I frowned as I helped pull him to his feet. He looked at me up and down before meeting my eyes. I gave him a small smile. He gently rubbed my cheek with his thumb before pulling me against him. "Sorry, for getting caught again. I guess that's what I get for being a woman." I told him.

"And Dean's biggest weakness." Sam said putting an arm around me.

"That's been pointed out more than once." I replied as I leaned against the wall.

"You okay?" Dean frowned as he assessed my neck.

"Just suffering from blood loss. Nothing out of the ordinary." I smiled at him.

"Cute." Dean nodded with a small smile.

"I thought so." I grinned, nodding back at him.

The night was spent being cleaned and patched up. Sam's hands, my neck and other wounds, Dean's various wounds…it was always something and would always be something. After everything had been dealt with and we settled down, Sam disappeared for a little while. He needed a little time alone. I got that. It was almost nice. With him out of the room Dean and I could be alone. Something that didn't happen often enough.

"How are you feeling?" Dean asked as we laid in bed together.

"Lousy." I told him. "But I'll be okay."

"We were cutting it a bit close this time." He stated.

"What did you expect? We were dealing with Gordon." I told him.

"He's dead now. We don't have to worry about him anymore." He replied as he ran his fingers through my hair. "Now sleep."

"I don't wanna sleep." I told him, whining.

"Why not?" He asked.

"Because every time I sleep…" I said looking up at him. "I lose precious hours with you."

He just looked at me, a soft expression on his face. "But when you sleep, I get to watch you. I love that just as much." He replied sweetly.

I smiled and kissed him deeply. "Every once in a while you really have a way with the words."

"Yeah, well, you bring out the best in me." He said kissing me again.

"You bring out the best in me too." I told him, kissing him deeply.

With my head on his chest I fell asleep. Knowing that we still had time. Time to do everything we needed to. Experience the things we needed to. Share the moments I would hold dear for the rest of my life. Almost hoping it was shorter than it would more than likely be.


	6. Exuberance

**Disclaimer: You all know it**

**A/N: Next chapter. Not sure these stories are even popular any more. Or ever were. Either way, as always, I will keep posting! If anything for the one fan who is the goddess who reviewed! Much appreciated and I really hope you're still reading it. Lol**

* * *

_**Chapter Six: Exuberance**_

Everything was white. I couldn't have been more excited. Dean had been good on his word. It didn't happen as soon as I had hoped but it was here now. We were on the road to a small secluded resort in the mountains of Alaska. It was my request. He had promised time alone and that was exactly what we were going to do. It had been years since I had seen snow. I barely remembered it. I had very few memories of it. But the ones I had were good. It was interesting that the job didn't lead us to more places with snow. Tragedy surrounded our last encounter with snow. This time it would be different. I had plans. When the resort came into view I was giddy in the seat. I grinned at Dean, getting out of the car. I looked back at him as I started moving away.

"What are you doing?" Dean smiled after me.

"Come with me and find out!" I called back to him.

He just laughed and I could hear his feet on the snow as he pursued me. I just laughed and ran to the snow bank across the lot. When I reached it I threw myself into it, landing on my back. Dean did the same landing next to me.

"And what's the point of this?" He grinned at me.

"Haven't you ever made a snow angel?" I smiled back. He shook his head. "That's just plain sad." I told him as I started to move my arms and legs.

Dean followed my lead before helping me to my feet. We stood and looked down on our work. Mine was nicely formed. It looked like an angel. I could hardly contain my laughter as I looked at Dean's. His was oddly shaped and you could hardly tell that the head was supposed to be the head. He nudged me when my giggling started to seep out.

"It's not that funny." He smiled at me.

"It really is." I said and laughed.

I couldn't stop. A second later his arms were around my waist as he brought me down into the snow. I squealed as he tickled me, though snow stifled it. I laughed as I threw snow in his face. As he wiped it off I got to my feet. He was on his feet a moment later. I laughed as I tried to run through the snow. I was clumsy, soon falling and rolling onto my back. Dean fell on top of me. My laughing quieted as I looked up at him. His hands slipped into mine, melting the snow beneath them. We just looked at each other before he kissed me. It was gentle, sweet. I smiled as they became more passionate. His tongue slipped into my mouth, sending a shiver through my body. He felt it, chuckling as his lips moved to my neck. I couldn't help but shiver again. I could feel the smile on his lips as he pressed them against my skin. He moved his hand underneath my jacket, his cold hands touching my skin. I put my arm around his torso, pulling him against me. It was starting to get hot and heavy, not even feeling the cold, when a slurping sound caught my ears. I froze, Dean did the same. We turned to see a kid, maybe five, staring at us with a juice box in his hands. Dean got off of me, pulling me from the ground. We looked at each other for a moment before I bent in front of the kid.

"Hi, is that juice box good?" I asked him. He nodded. "Where's your mom?" I asked. He just grinned at me.

"Nathan!" I heard a woman yell. "I'm so sorry." She smiled when she reached her son.

"It's not a problem." I smiled back at her. "He was just curious, I'm sure."

She blushed. "Are you two newlyweds?" She asked.

I looked at Dean, smiling. "In a way." I replied.

"Well, I'll get my little tyke out of your hair." She smiled and took her sons hand, leading him away.

"Bye." I smiled and watched them go. "Nathan." I said softly.

"What?" Dean asked curiously.

"It's a nice name." I smiled at him. He smiled and kissed my forehead before leading me back to the car.

We unloaded the car, finally going into the wonderful looking building. I stopped to take in the site as Dean went to get the key. It was only a three floor building but it was exquisite. I almost felt guilty, knowing where the money was coming from. But it took me only a second to move past it. I needed this, _we_ needed this. It was brick with red bordering the door and windows. The sun seemed to hit it perfecting, making it shine. I grinned and went inside. Dean was waiting for me with the keys to the room. He smiled and led me down several halls before stopping in front of a set of double doors. I stood next to him, grinning from ear to ear. He just winked at me before swiping the key, pushing the doors open. I stepped inside, dropping my bags to the side. It was like a full blown apartment. There was a living area with a big fireplace in front of me. I looked at Dean before moving through the suite. There was a large bedroom with the biggest bed I had ever seen. The bathroom was nearly a large. The shower had two heads, one on each side. Dean grinned and winked at me nodding his head. I laughed and ran my hand along his chest as I took in the huge Jacuzzi tub.

"We'll have fun in that." Dean said looking at it.

"I think we're going to have fun in this whole place." I smiled at him, lacing my fingers with his.

"We should probably get started." He said quickly pulling me against him.

I laughed as he kissed me passionately. I turned him toward the door, pushing him out of the room. As we walked our lips were always working, our hands pulling off each other's clothes. The bed couldn't have been more perfect. Not too hard, not to soft. It was perfect for what it was going to be used for. And it was going to be used a lot.

* * *

I had to admit that I was starting to panic. Looking down I thought I was going to vomit. I looked at Dean who looked serious. I shook my head. He simply nodded and pushed off. I could hear his yell as he quickly moved away from me. I swallowed the bile that was starting up my throat before straightening my skis. I pushed off, slowly, thinking I would be able to take it easy. As soon as the ground tilted the skis started to move faster. I held the picks, trying to keep a slow steady pace. As most things I've done, it didn't work. I picked up speed, moving faster and faster. I could see Dean moving below me. Back and forth as he maneuvered his way down. _How did I let him convince me to do this?_ I asked myself as I tried to keep my focus. I kept the skis straight. I was perfectly fine with straight. But the farther I went down the clearer the trees became.

"Dean! I hate you!" I yelled as I started to swerve around the trees.

I was anything but athletic. This was a living nightmare. The bunny hill had been fun and easy. Dean suggested something more challenging. I agreed, like I nearly always do, and now I was in a situation from hell. I was positive I was going to crash. I just wanted to be going a little slower before it happened. No broken bones is my goal.

"This was supposed to be fun." I told myself as I tried not to die. "Tree!" I yelled, nicking my arm as I went past it. But it wasn't enough to through me out of control. "He's going to have to give me lots and lots of sex after this." I said as I swerved around a few more trees. "Where the hell is he anyway?" I said. I hadn't seen him for a while. "I'm going to kill him if he's at the bottom already with that cheesy grin of his. He'll just tease me incessantly for being better than me." I couldn't help talking to myself. It kept me calm. I was still at it when something caught my eye. Something in the snow. In a second my heart stopped and the last thing I remembered was face planting in the snow. When I came too half my face was numb. There was red in the snow but there was minimal pain. I lifted my head to see Dean only a few yards away. "You son of a bitch." I said as I rushed forward to him, struggling with the skis to get them off my feet. "Dean…" I said sliding to his side. "Dean, wake up." He had some abrasions on the side of his face. "You stupid cocky bastard." I frowned as I looked him over. "Wake up." I said taking his jaw in my hand. His brows furrowed and he slowly opened his eyes. "Having fun yet?" I smiled down at him. He scoffed at me, putting his hand through my hair.

"Loads." He said sitting up.

"You okay?" I asked him.

"I guess. Are you?" He said noticing whatever blood was showing.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, I'll live." I said and helped him to his feet.

We gathered our skis and walked the rest of the way down the hill. It was like one of those moments in movies where the main character is in slow motion walking away from a bomb; or returning victorious from some sort of battle. That was us. I felt as if we were moving in slow motion as we walked back through the crowd of people at the bottom of the hill. They were all staring at us but we held our heads high and walked back into the hotel. Though that didn't last once we got into the room. We dropped the skis and gear at the door. Not wanting to look at them again. I took Dean's hand and led him to the bathroom. I turned the water of the tub on, making it nice and hot before turning to my man. I started to undress him. Small wounds appearing. But this was the best part. The part where we took care of each other. I kissed a fresh cut, tasting his blood, as I threw his shirt aside. When he was gloriously naked in front of me he looped his finger through my pants and pulled me to him. I had split my lip. He kissed me, ever so slightly sucking the cut. I couldn't help but grin. The water was fantastic. It felt so good. I leaned back against him as he trailed kissed down my neck. His hand moved down into the water. I could feel his fingers as they moved down my body, between my legs. He then began to message me. I smiled, leaning into him as far as I could. Turning my head I kissed him deeply, our tongues rolling among each other as I took in his pleasure. The next moment his fingers were inside of me. I couldn't help but let out a small groan. It was enough to spread a smile across his face as we kissed. My breath came faster, his lips once again on my neck. I gripped his hair with one hand, the other running along his bicep. Moments like this made everything seem perfect. This was the way it was supposed to be. He removed his hand. I turned in the water, straddling his front. I kissed him repeatedly, wanting him so badly. A moment later I felt him slide inside of me. I groaned as I rocked against him. He closed his eyes, resting his head against my chest. His hands moved around my back. I did the same, feeling his muscles ripple as he caressed me. It was too soon when it ended but the moment had been magical. It always was. I turned again, leaning into him as we continued to soak in the water. My mind couldn't help but linger on the fact that this wouldn't happen anymore. It made me want to make love to him every second of every day. I needed to fit a lifetime into a single year. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair, it was simply the way it was. It was an unhappy thought. I pushed it away, concentrating only on his breathing as he ran his fingers up and down my arms. He wrapped his arms around my neck. I kissed his forearm, smiling. I loved being held. There was nothing like it. What would I do when he wasn't here to hold me anymore? I frowned, scolding myself for letting the thought even enter my head right now. I partially turned, turning enough just to see him, be able to kiss him.

_Dean was kissing me. The bedroom was dark. It was just getting to the good part when there was scratching at the door. I stopped turning toward the door. The scratching started again as a vicious barking accompanied it. Panic started to seep into me. Dean started to move from the bed. I gripped his arm, telling him not to go. Not to open the door. The barking grew louder and more vicious as he moved toward the door. As he reached for the handle I flew out of the bed, shoving him away from the door. I forcefully told him not to open it. He said okay and went back to the bed. The barking started to die away. I followed him, climbing back into bed with him. He held me against him, caressing my back as I laid against him. Soon it seemed as if the danger had passed. I calmed down, with Dean's help, leading us to a night of soft talking and a good night's sleep. Dean remaining alive and well._

I opened my eyes. The barking still echoing in my head. I turned, looking at Dean sleeping next to me. It had been one of the better ones. I wished they would just stop. Nothing I could think of was helping. It didn't matter how hard I tried not to dwell on it. How hard I tried to relax. I just couldn't deal with Dean's decision. I tried to but just couldn't. I could see his point and I could understand why but he was leaving me. It took up far too much of my thoughts. Today had been a good day. The trip was a good idea. I couldn't deny that. It had been the distraction that we both needed. But when I slept everything I was trying to forget seemed to leak out. Everything I couldn't handle festered to the surface in my dreams. I gently rubbed his shoulder with my fingers, kissing it gently, before slipping out of the bed. Turning on the fireplace, I wrapped myself in a blanket, sitting down in front of it. I hugged my knees, staring into the flames. The tears were there before I knew I was even going to cry. I sniffled as I wiped the tears away. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. I heard something behind me. My head shot up toward the sound. There was nothing there. But at the same time it was easy to believe that something had been. I turned back to the flames. I leaned against the chair next to me. My eyes started to close before the heat and the movement of the flames put me to sleep.

When I woke up it seemed like no time had passed. I put the flames out before going into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror before splashing water on my face. When I looked up I was smiling at myself, but I myself was not. I frowned, my heart starting to race as I looked at my reflection.

"He's going to die you know." I told myself.

"What the hell…?" I said not believing what I was seeing.

"You know what's going to happen. She told you what was to come. You can't change it. You can't fight it." My reflection stated. Then it started to whisper. "I'm here. I'm inside of you." But the voice wasn't my own. It was tainted by another.

I shot awake, the flames still crackling in the fireplace. I was shaking. I didn't even know it was a dream. It felt very real. I stood, pacing the room. I went to the mini-bar and took out a mini bottle of tequila. I downed it before two others. I took a deep breath before going back into the bedroom. Dean was sleeping soundly. I stood at the end of the bed, just watching him, listening to his breathing. I walked to his side of the bed, running my fingers down his face, trailing them along his arm. I bent and kissed his forehead, gently putting my fingers through his hair. I went around the bed, crawling back in. Putting my arms around him, I pressed myself against his back. He shifted but continued to sleep. I closed my eyes, concentrating on the sound of his breathing, letting it put me to sleep.

* * *

I woke up to sweet kisses on my neck. Loving the feeling so much. I hadn't slept much but I wasn't going to let my dreams dull the fun that I was supposed to be having. The fun that I desperately needed. Today we were going to do anything but skiing. I didn't want to ski again in my life. The town was small and since it was Alaska there was plenty of dog sledding activities and Eskimo related things. It was going to be another good day, even if it was the last thing I did.

"I want to see a polar bear." I grinned at Dean as we ate ice cream in a shop.

"What?" Dean smiled but his brows were furrowed.

"What's the point of coming all the way to Alaska if you don't get to see a polar bear?" I shot back at him.

"I'm sure there's a zoo around here somewhere." He told me.

"I don't think so, mister. We're going to go find us a polar bear." I said getting up.

"What is with you today?" He asked as he followed me. "I don't think a polar bear is going to appreciate us gawking at it."

"I don't care." I told him.

There were trails all over the place. We went toward the ocean, knowing that seals would be around and they would lead us to a bear. I didn't know why I wanted to so badly but I did. It could have been the fear factor of what could potentially happen. I needed to feel alive. I needed to feel like it wasn't just Dean who was leaving. I was on edge and my own face was haunting my thoughts. Soon we could hear the rush of the ocean as it broke against the cliffs. It had taken nearly two hours to even reach the ocean. We could already hear the seals barking as they basked in the afternoon sun.

"So, here are the seals. I don't see any bears." Dean stated as he crossed his arms.

"Don't sound so negative. Now we sit and watch." I said doing just that.

"Why do you want to do this? It's random, even for you." He stated sitting next to me.

"Don't you want to say someday that you've done this? You took a trip to Alaska and saw something not many do. Something special to the natural world." I smiled at him.

"What are you talking about?" He frowned.

My smile fell, I sighed, resting my chin on my knees. "I just want you to experience as much as you can before…you leave." I told him softly. "Anything and everything."

He sighed heavily. "I'm not just leaving, baby." He said sadly.

"I know. But that's what this is for. I want you to be able to take something with you. Happy memories that might make it easier. If that's even possible."

"Evy…" He said pulling me into him. I wrapped my arms around him as his moved around me. "All I need is your face and I'll be okay."

I smiled and kissed him deeply. Our lips lingered against each other's, parted. I could taste his breath in my mouth. I rested my head against his chest, his heart beat sounding in my ear. As the sun set, colors appeared in the air. I smiled as the aurora borealis filled the night sky. The colors making waves in the air.

"It's getting cold. Let's head back." Dean said as he ran his fingers through my hair.

"Okay." I said and got to my feet, helping Dean to his.

As we were walking back a sound reached our ears. We turned and a mother polar bear and her two cubs were walking several yards away. I watched them walk over the edge, the northern lights bouncing off their white coats. The mother turned and looked at us before leading her cubs out of site.

"Hmph." I smiled and looked at Dean.

"Happy now?" He smiled back.

"Very." I smiled and kissed him.

A hot bath felt wonderful. We soaked in the water as soft music played from the mounted CD player. I leaned against him, feeling his chest rise and fall against me. It was comforting. Dean's hands gently stroked my body. Sending shivers through me in all the right places. My stomach was the downfall to our happy soaking. It occurred to me that I hadn't eaten and Dean was insistent that we eat. He spun it off as needing the energy for night activities. I just grinned before wrapping myself in one of the hotels oversized robes. Dean did the same before leaving the bathroom. I watched him go before turning to my reflection. I combed my hair, leaving it down to dry. Making a note to take better care of myself so I could take care of Dean. I went into the main room. Dean was standing by the door holding a piece of paper.

"What's that?" I asked him.

"The hotel is hosting some sort of fundraiser tonight. The black tie kind." He said handing it to me.

"It's for the polar bears." I smiled and laughed.

"What a coincidence." He said with a raised brow. "There will be food, dancing, and - Hey! Karaoke." He said and grinned at me.

"We're not going." I told him shaking my head.

"What? Why not? How often do we get to dress up?" He said going into the bedroom.

"We have nothing to wear." I informed him.

"Don't worry. I'll take care of that." He grinned.

"Dean, seriously? You honestly want to go to this?" I asked following him.

"You can call it our prom." He grinned widely.

"I hated prom." I told him.

"Why don't you want to go?" He asked facing me.

"I don't know. It's just not our thing." I replied.

"It is this weekend. You were the one who wanted me to experience as much as I can before I go into the pit. So do this for me, will you?" He said taking my face in his hands. He had his famous half smile on his face and the look in his eyes made me want to agree with anything he said.

"Fine." I told him, averting my eyes from his.

"Yes." He grinned. "I'll be back in a little bit. You take a real shower."

"What?" I said laughing. "Are you saying I smell?"

"You smell fine." He smiled back.

"Yeah, I smell like you." I said shoving him playfully.

He grabbed my sides, making my squirm as his lips found mine. He smacked my ass before changing and leaving the room. I sighed and showered. It felt wonderful to take a shower by myself. I hadn't realized how long it had been. When I was done I smelled like a girl again. But I couldn't help but put on one of Dean's shirts. It smelled strongly of him and to me that was the best smell in the world. I settled in front of the TV, turning it on to find the movie _Underworld_ on FX. But as I watched I couldn't help but criticize it. Vampires weren't really like that. Werewolves didn't look anything like they were portrayed. Where did they come up with this stuff? Someone out there has to know the truth. With all the hunters and the people who've been saved someone should have known better than to allow this portrayal of the supernatural. Granted, I loved the movie, it was just that I knew that these things existed and what they really looked like.

"Hey, I love this movie." Dean said when he finally got back.

"Good, someone to make fun of it with me." I smiled at him.

"Time to turn it off, hot stuff. We've got to get ready. People are already starting to crowd the lobby."

"But it's just getting to the best part. She's going to bite him and he's going to turn into the half-breed." I said as he pulled me to my feet.

"I don't care. It's time to get ready." He grinned and tossed a box at me.

"What's this?" I smiled at him.

"Go get ready." He smiled sheepishly before going into the bedroom.

I smiled after him. I stood and went into the bathroom, closing the door. I set the box on the counter, running my hand along the top before pulling it off. I laughed, tears springing into my eyes as I beheld the dress in front of me. It was just proof that this man knew me well. It was red. He always said I looked good in red. It was strapless. I pulled it out. It reached the floor. No slit. It was very slick. It was simple and yet elegant all at the same time. It was perfect. I wasn't one for flashy. This was exactly something I would pick out myself. I closed my eyes, thinking of my fiancé in the next room. I touched the ring on my finger. In this moment I wished that this dress was white. Tamara's words rang in my head. _Do it. Before it's too late._ My smile faltered momentarily at the memory but returned as I stared at the dress. I set to work on trying to do something creative with my hair. But in the end since the dress was simple the hair was simple. I put big curls in it, letting half of it fall over my shoulders. It was out of my face but there was still a strand on either side, framing it. The zipper on the dress was up the side, making it easy for me to get ready all on my own. When I opened the door there was a pair of red flip flops. I grinned and slipped them on. I hated high heels. When I walked into the main room Dean was standing there, waiting for me, a grin plastered on his face. I felt my face flush as I walked toward him. He looked exceedingly handsome in a tux. I stepped up to him, leaving only an inch between us. He lifted his hand, his fingers trailing along my bare neckline. I smiled putting my hand on his forearm. He leaned in, kissing me deeply.

"You're breathtaking." He told me softly.

"You look fantastic." I smiled and kissed him again.

"We should go. I want to show you off tonight." He smiled and took my hand.

The lobby was full of people waiting for the line to move inside. Apparently the polar bears had a big following. Then again, we were in Alaska. It was either that or everyone wanted an excuse to dress up and get drunk. Dean and I weren't complaining. There was a lot of commotion inside. There was a large variety of people, dressed in a variety of ways. It was rather entertaining. The first hour was spent eating, drinking, and making fun of everyone in the room. There was a guy with a tall green mo hock. He had a vintage tux on and the girl he had with him was every definition of the word Goth. It was amusing to say the least. Then you had the older couples that you'd think were at some royal function. But for all we knew this was the event of the year. Even the kids were acting like snobbish little imps. We ate our fill and danced as the night went on. I had to admit that I was having fun. I felt out of place but I couldn't help but enjoy myself. There was an open bar and so much delicious food it was ridiculous. It didn't take long for the karaoke to start. We suffered through several children before the teenagers started and then the drunken men and woman took their turn.

"I think it's your turn." Dean winked at me.

"You know. I think it is." I grinned at him as I went up to the mic.

I knew what I was going to sing. Taking the mic the words came out like water. Knowing that I meant every one of them, knowing that I meant them for Dean as much as anyone else who would sing it to their love.

_I don't like to be alone and I_

_I don't like to hear I'm wrong when I'm right_

_And I don't like to have the rain on my shoes_

_But I do love you_

_But I do love you_

_I don't like to see the sky painted gray_

_And I don't like when nothing's going my way_

_And I don't like to be the one with the blues_

_But I do love you_

_But I do love you_

_Love everything about the way you loving me_

_The way you lay your head upon my shoulder when you sleep_

_And I love to kiss you in the rain_

_I love everything you do_

_Oh I do_

When I was done I was happy to see Dean still smiling at me. He stood as he applauded me, nodding when I bite my lip, anxious to know his thoughts. It always meant something. No matter what we sang it meant something. I went back down to Dean, kissing him before we sat down.

"You're not going up?" I asked him.

"Nah." He said with a crooked smile. "I like seeing you shine up there."

"I'm nowhere near a good singer." I told him shaking my head.

"Yeah, but you're my girl. To me you're the best singer here." He told me sweetly.

"I don't know if I want this night to end." I grinned at him.

"Why?" He grinned back.

"Because, tonight, you are being so sweet I just might puke." I told him, putting my fingers on his chin.

His eyes narrowed before he grabbed my sides, making me squirm. I busted with laughter. He kept going until I couldn't breath before pulling my chair to his, wrapping his arm around my neck, his other around my waist. I laughed softly in his ear, my arms around him, my hands on his shoulders. Then Queens _(I want it all song. Find title)_ came on and I pulled Dean to the dance floor. I belted out, dancing ridiculously with everyone else. Dean could only laugh and shake his head at me. But a few beers later his jacket was off, his bowtie undone, and was rocking it on the dance floor with me. Then it was time to take the mic again. Dean went up and picked the song. I stood in the middle of the crowd. Wanting to be able to take him in.

_Find myself all alone_

_In darkness without you_

_Now I can't turn away _

_From what I must do_

_You know I'd give my life for you_

_More than words can say_

_I've shown you how to love someone_

_I know you'll find the way_

_Say goodbye_

_Close your eyes_

_Remember Me_

_Walk away_

_The sun remains_

_Remember me_

_I'll live on somewhere in your heart_

_You must believe_

_Remember me_

It was sweet yet made a point. By the end of the song my eyes were wet. I knew what he was trying to say, but at the same time I didn't want to have to remember him. I wanted him with me. I wanted to be able to look into his eyes every day. He jumped down from the stage and took me in his arms. I just smiled and kissed him. I ran my hand down his chest before taking the stage again. If he wanted to make a point then I could make one too.

_Another turning point_

_A fork stuck in the road_

_Time grabs you by the wrist_

_Directs you where to go_

_So make the best of this test_

_And don't ask why_

_It's not a question_

_But a lesson learned in time_

_Let something unpredictable_

_But in the end is right_

_I hope you had the time of your life_

We had done our deed for the night. We sang our songs and danced till we couldn't anymore. It was long after midnight but the party was going strong. My buzz was wearing off and Dean was sober. It was slightly ridiculous to feel like the night didn't end drunk and in bed but it was starting to turn out just as good even with the dressy clothes and drunken people.

"I feel very much out of place." I told Dean as I ate my third plate from the buffet.

"Why?" He asked me softly.

"We're hunters, Dean. We don't belong in this world of money and fashion." I smiled. "Despite how much fun we've had so far. Because I am having fun."

"Good. Me too. But this world suits you." He smiled back, a dangerous look in his eyes.

I felt my face flush. "I like you better in jeans with a t-shirt and button up." I smiled back at him.

He grinned and kissed me deeply. I laughed and ran my fingers down his face. "Well, you look ravishing. I'm letting it go to waste." He said standing, holding out his hand. "May I have this dance?"

The grin on my face was starting to hurt. I nodded, taking his hand. He led me to the dance floor. In this moment I was so enthralled by Dean I didn't even recognize the music that was playing. It was soft, but I wasn't paying attention to the words. The only thing I could hear was Dean's breathing, the feel of his fingers trailing my back. I wrapped my arms around his neck, moving against him. He held me tight, pressing his face into my shoulder. I could feel the smile on his lips, making one cross my own. Running my fingers through his hair, I breathed him in.

"I wish it could stay like this forever." I whispered to him.

"Me too." He whispered back, kissing me lightly.

The next thing we knew the lights went out and screaming started.


	7. Round and Round We Go

_**Chapter Seven: Round and Round We Go**_

The generator took forever to finally kick in. The lights flickered dimly on. I stood slowly taking in the image before me. There were people running everywhere. There were men dressed in black, guns in hand. Dean stood, his hand resting on my arm. We exchanged glances before a small explosion erupted on stage. We moved toward the it as a man appeared and took the mic.

"Everyone calm down and shut up!" He yelled viciously. When the screaming and running continued he fired several shots into the air. Everyone dropped to the ground and the noise dulled. "This will all be over before you know it. Just stay calm and do as you're told." He stepped down as other men started to move through the crowd.

"We're being robbed." I stated.

"I can see that." Dean replied.

"We're actually being robbed." I said and smiled at him.

"Why are you smiling?" He asked.

"Because this is so out of the ordinary for us. We can have this situation under control in like five minutes." I told him.

"We could, but we can't kill them." Dean told me.

"No, but we can sure hurt them a lot." I said and winked.

"I'll confront the leader. Go get a weapon." He told me.

"Done." I said pulling my knife from my thigh.

"I didn't know you were packing." He grinned at me mischievously.

"I'm just full of surprises." I said and kissed him. "Don't do anything stupid."

"I won't." He said and slowly rose to a crouch.

I did the same and went to help the wounded. There didn't appear to be any casualties. But that could change in the blink of an eye. I was helping a middle-aged man when I was grabbed from behind.

"Hey!" I said forcing him to release his grip. My hand moved to the knife but then relaxed. That would be too rash. His eyes scanned my body before he grabbed my arm again, pulling me through the crowd. "What the hell do you want? I don't have anything of value." I told him.

"You're a pretty girl. That and I think we have your date." He said and threw me to the ground at the leaders feet.

I looked up at him and just to the left Dean was being held by the throat. "Let him go." I said getting to my feet.

"You see." He said with his gun to his temple. "This guy here thought he'd try and force me into submission. Not a good idea." He turned and shot Dean in the knee, watching him fall to the floor.

"Dean!" I screamed moving toward him. The man's arm caught my waist and threw me to the floor. "You son of a bitch!" I yelled lunging at him. I punched him hard across the jaw.

He laughed before backhanding me. "You have spunk." He smiled before grabbing my cheeks with his hand. "Do as I say or he dies."

I glared at him, clenching my jaw. "What do you want?"

"I want to be rich." He grinned.

"You are so demented." I told him.

He laughed and hit me again. "Go gather jewelry and money." He said and shoved me back toward everyone else.

As soon as they turned their backs to me the knife was out. The man who had grabbed me was first. I slashed the back of his knees before his arm as he reached for his gun. I moved to Dean and freed him before diving behind tables. I dragged Dean with me as commotion started to break out again. There was yelling and gun fire in our direction.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked me.

"They shot you. No one messes with you without getting hurt." I told him.

He gave me his crooked smile as he shook his head. "We're dead now, you know that right?"

"Yeah. I figured as much." I smiled and kissed him deeply.

We were safe at the moment. But I watched as a young woman was hit by a bullet. She fell hard and then the little boy we had seen appeared, screaming, next to her. She was dead. Panic started to course through me. I rushed from my hiding spot and grabbed him. Dean yelled my name and when I turned back to him, he was moving toward me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the leader with his gun raised, his mouth open in an angry yell, his face distorted maddeningly as he moved toward us. It was as if in slow motion, I held the boy against me, watching Dean as he moved to protect me, then the trigger was pulled.

"Dean!" I screamed but it was too late.

Dean was thrown to the side as the bullet hit him in the chest. I pushed Nathan under a table and rushed to Dean. He was already coughing up blood, struggling for breath.

"Baby, please." I said bending over him.

"Get out of here." He told me as he struggled to breathe.

"Not without you." I told him.

"I love you." He said before going limp in my arms.

"Dean? Dean!" I cried and kissed him. "Please don't." I said holding his head in my hands. "I love you too." I whispered before turning back to the boy.

In the next moment the room started to spin. I closed my eyes waiting for it to stop. When I opened them the room was intact and music was playing. I was just standing there. I looked at myself only to see that I was once again in perfect form. Nothing torn nor blood shed. I looked around and saw Dean walking toward me.

"You look like you've seen a ghost." He said as he handed me a drink.

"I'm fine." I told him though I was completely in shock. _What the hell just happened?_ I asked as I downed my drink.

The party had just started. People were finding their seats, slowly making it up to the buffet. Dean was excited about the food. It was déjà vu. He did everything exactly like he had before. I didn't know what was going on but this was going to be hell if it played out the same way. It was either a gift or a curse. We sat down and ate, though I did more pushing around than anything.

"That's guy's mo hock is awesome." Dean said pointing at the guy with the tall green one.

"And his girlfriend is every definition of the word Goth." I told him with a forced smile.

He laughed and shoveled more food into his mouth. I couldn't eat. I watched him. Memorizing every move he made. Dancing to a slow song, I smiled, putting my hand on his face. He smiled back, completely unaware of what happened the last time we went through this. Part of me wanted to tell him but I wasn't sure what was happening. I wouldn't say anything until I know one way or the other. All I did know is that I wasn't going to let him get hurt. Not again. Not ever if I could help it. Leaning in, kissing him, I rested my hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat beneath it. Soon the karaoke started and before I was ready Dean was trying to get me on stage. I smiled and kissed him before going up. I tried to be as into it as I could. I wasn't stupid. I knew that I needed to play it out as much like the first time. I didn't know the name of the game but for now I was going with it. I sang the same songs. The night was playing out the same as before. When Dean stood up and smiled at me, I knew that it was soon to come. When he asked me to dance I took his hand, but couldn't go with him.

"Can we just sit this one out?" I asked him.

"Everything okay?" He asked me.

"I don't think so." I whispered to him.

He just looked at me. My eyes pleaded with his. He nodded and I started to lead him toward the door. We were nearly there when the lights went out and the screaming started. The door burst open and men filed in. Dean pulled me down and underneath a table.

"Shit." I said as I gripped onto Dean.

The generator came on and the shots were fired. The leader's voice was heard and the events started to replay.

"Come on. We have to do something." Dean said, moving to leave.

"No!" I said grabbing him.

"What is it? Why are you so freaked out?"

"Just stay with me. Please." I told him, my grip tightening.

"Okay." He said wrapping his arms around me.

It didn't take long for the rounds to be made. We were in a different part of the room. People were being herded into a group toward the front. I was pulled out first, followed by Dean. He started to fight back but I launched myself at him, begging him to stop. We were put with everyone else, scared eyes moving over the room. I pulled Dean to the floor with me. Since we hadn't antagonized them this time I hoped it would go smoother. I couldn't watch Dean die again.

"We can't just sit here." Dean told me.

"I'm not moving." I told him.

"What is wrong with you? This isn't like you. You'd be the first to help. This is a normal robbery. We can beat these guys with our eyes shut." He told me.

"No, we can't." I told him. "Please. Just do what they say. Don't do anything stupid."

He sighed and I could see the wheels turning. He was going to do something. He was going to try and be the hero. I wasn't going to be able to stop him. My only other option was doing something first.

"Baby?" I said looking at him.

"What?" He asked.

I punched him, hard. He fell to the side, unconscious. "I love you. But I'm going to keep you alive tonight." I told him as I pushed him further underneath the table.

I turned to where the men were. They were stationed at every exit. The leader and his closest men were on the stage. They had already been going through the crowd for jewelry and money. It was so simple yet so dangerous all at the same time. I had no plan. No way to know what to expect.

My arm was grabbed before I could make it ten feet to the men. "Hey!" I said as I was whipped around to face them.

"What do you think you're doing?" The man asked me.

"Whatever I can to make this go as smooth and as fast as I can." I told him.

"Then I suggest you take a seat and wait it out." He told me, his grip tightening.

"No." I said pulling away from him. "I'm not going to stand by and wait for something to happen. Either you tell me what I can do or I'll do it on my own."

"Are you asking for a death wish?" The man frowned at me.

"Maybe I am." I said and started to walk toward his boss.

He grabbed me again but I put up a fight, making it necessary for his boss to turn toward us.

"What's going on?" His boss asked.

"Just a rowdy hostage." The man said grabbing my arm again.

"Let her go, Marcel." His boss told him.

I pulled away from him again and stepped up onto the stage. "So, you're the monkey running the show." I said crossing my arms.

"Jasper Hughes." He said introducing himself.

"And why the hell would you tell me your name?" I frowned at him. "What kind of robbers are you?"

"I'm not hiding anything. I can't get what I want unless the cops show up."

"This is all about money, right? I mean, why would you take a fundraiser hostage with any other motive?" I asked him.

A man came up from behind him. "We've got her." Jasper nodded and the man stepped back.

"So there is another motive." I stated. "Ex-wife? Old lover? Did she reject you repeatedly?"

Jasper smiled and gave a short laugh. "You're funny."

"And you're dead."

I froze and looked at Dean, his gun raised at Jasper, and then he pulled the trigger. Other guns went off before I could move and Dean fell back off of the stage. I screamed his name and jumped off the stage. He was dead before I reached him, his blood making a pool around his body. I started to shake uncontrollably and then the tears came. Before I could fully take it in everything started to spin. The room was once again intact when I opened my eyes. I was just standing there again. I saw Dean walking toward me and I tried not to show the depths of my despair. The whole night started to replay itself. The people, the food, the singing…everything. The same men filed in and we were once again in the same boat. All of me wondering why I didn't just drag him from the room the second the night rewound. But part of me knew that we wouldn't be able to leave. Something would keep us here. Something would prevent us leaving, making it impossible to save my fiancé from what would undoubtedly be the last night of his life.

"We're being robbed." I told him.

"I can see that." Dean stated. I was supposed to be saying my lines but I couldn't speak. "We've gotta do something." He said as he rose to a crouch.

"No!" I whispered as I pulled him back down to me.

"What is it?" He frowned at me.

"This doesn't feel right." I told him.

"This is a normal robbery. We can handle this." He replied.

"I know we can, but there is something wrong here." I said trying to convey the panic that was setting in.

"What is it?" He asked again.

"This is the third time tonight has happened." I told him.

"What?" He said with raised brows.

"Tonight has happened before. The same things happen over and over again. I tried changing what happened but I haven't been able to. I can't stand to watch what I've had to watch the past two times this night has happened. I am scared and I don't want to go through it again." I blurted out, not looking at him.

"So, like déjà vu." He stated.

I couldn't help but crack a smile as I shook my head at him. "No, not like déjà vu. Like groundhogs day." I told him.

"Okay." He said looking slightly confused yet.

I sighed and took his head in my hands. "Baby, tonight someone is going to die and we have to stop it."

"Who?" He asked.

"You." I told him.

"What? That's ridiculous. I'm dying. Not tonight anyway." He told me.

"You don't get it. I've watched you die twice now. It's going to happen again tonight. We need to lay low." I told him slowly to make sure he listened to every word.

He leaned toward me, taking my head in his hands. "Baby, I'm not going anywhere tonight. I'll be okay."

"Okay." I nodded, kissing him deeply.

The night ended with Dean getting shot in the back. He was shot in the head the following night. He was blown away with a shotgun the night after. He was killed over and over and over again. Not only him. Nathan and his mom appeared more than once. The poor boy's mother was killed numerous times. I would have to stand and listen to him screaming unable to help. I was helpless. I couldn't do anything to change what was going on. But after it happened too many times to count, things began to show. Jasper was looking for someone. Sometimes they found her sometimes they didn't. I didn't know who they were talking about. All I knew is that she meant something to Jasper and he was coming not only to rob but to find her and get her back. I caught a glimpse of who they were talking about but never enough to figure it out. It was the one thing that kept me from going completely insane. The music was driving me mad and the food was making me nauseous. Watching Dean enjoy the food and people watching was also getting old. I loved him to death. But his death was putting a damper on everything. Just being with him was enough for me. But the terror of watching him die over and over again was more draining then words could say. Between trying to keep Dean alive and finding out about the woman they were looking for, the night never seemed to last long. Meaning Dean seemed to die quicker and quicker every night. Despite the small variations each night always ended the same. Me crying over Dean's body. The night would rewind and I'd have to do it all over again. But it happened so many times that I was starting to get desensitized. Spending more time getting drunk then trying to figure out how to stop the loop. I didn't know how to stop it but I couldn't stand watching him die. He was always trying to protect me. He was only looking out for me. It made me think that, somehow, this was my fault. I was being punished, over and over again.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked me.

"Yup." I said flatly.

"What is it?" He asked.

"I'm just bored." I told him.

"We just got here." He retorted.

"I know. But if I remember correctly, and I'm not saying I do, I told you I didn't want to come to this thing." I replied.

"I know but it's supposed to be fun for us." He said softly.

He continued to try and cheer me up. I listened momentarily before seeing Nathan and his mom walk past a few feet away. "I'll be right back." I told him as I stood.

"Evy." He frowned as I walked away.

"Just wait here." I told him and walked toward them. "Excuse me." I said getting her attention.

"Hi." She smiled. "Are you and your husband having a good time?"

"We are." I smiled back at her. "This is going to be very unusual but I need to know something." I told her.

"Okay." She smiled curiously.

"Do you know a Jasper Hughes?" I asked. She frowned at me, taking a step back. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"How do you know that name?" She asked.

"He's going to rob the fundraiser and come after you." I told her quickly.

"That's not funny." She said taking her sons hand.

"Please, just hear me out." I told her with my palms raised.

"I have to go." She told me and practically dragged Nathan away as she moved away from me.

"What was that about?" Dean said stepping next to me.

"Never mind." I told him as I turned away.

"What's going on?" He frowned as he followed me.

"Give me an hour and then you won't have to worry about it." I replied.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

The doors burst open and the men flowed in. I sighed and put my fingers to my forehead. Dean pulled me down next to him. I put my hands on his knee as he held me against him. I was quiet as we waited. The men would come around. Dean wanted to do something. Every time he mentioned interceding I squeezed his knee, frowning at him. He just nodded before gently rubbing my back. My plan was just to stay there and stay quiet but I saw Nathan nearby. He was crying.

"Stay here." I told Dean as I crawled over to the boy.

"Evy." Dean said grabbing my thigh.

"Dean. Stay here. Please, just wait." I told him.

He glared at me but stayed back. I went to Nathan, cradling him in my arms. He was crying uncontrollably. I looked for his mother but she was nowhere near her son. When I spotted her she was being led by the arm by the man known as Marcel. I pulled Nathan to Dean before rushing off toward her. She was fighting against the men, being pushed toward Jasper. Before I could reach her I was grabbed from behind. I spun coming face to face with one of Jasper's men. I sighed as I was led to the others.

"You." The woman said to me.

"Don't do this Jasper." I told him.

"Have we met?" He frowned at me.

"Several times." I replied.

"I think I'd remember meeting you."

"No, you wouldn't." I replied.

"What are you doing?" She whispered harshly to me.

"Trying to keep everyone alive." I shot back at her.

We were in the middle of our banter when Nathan yelled out for his mother. We turned to look at him. He was standing only a few yards away, unsupervised, looking as calm as could be. He just stood there, calling out for her. Then the gun shots started. Marcel and the man holding me fell to the ground. The woman was grabbed by Jasper, being dragged away. I turned to see Dean. Everything seemed to slow down now. Jasper started to fire at him. Dean dove behind a table. I dropped to the ground, crawling over to where Dean had landed.

"Dean…" I said going to him. There was red on his shirt. "Oh God…"

"I'm okay. It's barely a graze." He said with a half-smile.

I kissed him quickly. Resting my forehead against his as I did my best not to cry. It was coming. I knew it was and I didn't know how to stop it. Only moments later shots echoed in the room. Only this time it was an automatic, firing round after round into the table. I felt pain, falling to the side. I looked at Dean. He too was on his side, red soaking through his white shirt. The pain was unbearable. I moved my hand over to his, gripping it tightly. He smiled at me before his eyes closed. I covered my face with my hand and started to cry. I rolled onto my back as the room began to spin.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Dean asked me.

"Yup." I said flatly, sitting at the table, my chin in my hand.

"What is it?" He asked.

"I'm just bored." I told him.

"We just got here." He retorted.

"I've been here for a long time now." I told him.

"What are you talking about?" He frowned.

"I'm stuck in groundhog's day." I said looking at him. "And every day you die."

"What?" He asked.

"This night is never ending. Tonight never ends and every night you die. I can't watch you die again and we can't leave. We're screwed. You're screwed. I'm screwed. And not in a good way." I said and looked at my hands.

"Baby, I'm going to be fine." He told me with a small smile, taking my hands in his.

"I love you. I love you so much." I said putting my hand on his cheek.

"I love you too." He said and kissed me deeply.

Dean was very much into the party. The same way he was every night. I sang karaoke and he ate a bunch of food. We danced and then the robbery started to take place. I simply moved from my seat to the floor, dragging Dean with me.

"Stay here, don't move, don't say a word, and don't do anything to antagonize them." I said gripping his shirt tightly.

"Evy, we have to do something." He told me.

"No." I said looking him, unblinkingly, in the eyes.

"Baby…" He frowned.

"I'm not going to watch you die again. Not…again." I told him.

He sighed and took my hand in his. I cradled his arm against my chest. We listened to the men order everyone around. Making their way around the room.

"Jewelry and money." A man said stepping up to us.

"We don't have any money or jewelry of value." I told him.

"The necklace." He told me.

"You're not getting my necklace." I told him.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. Dean went to stand but I stopped him. The man reached for my necklace but I kneed him in the groin. Dean went to stand but I pushed him down. I glared at him as I was dragged away from him. I was taken to Jasper.

"I know who you're looking for." I told him. Jasper grinned and looked at his men. "She's here with her son. Your son. Don't do this. She's going to die if you do this. Then what will you do? He will never forgive you."

"You don't know what you're talking about." He replied with his jaw clenched.

"Bethany Lyons. She's your ex-wife who left you for your unstable ways. It took me a long time to figure it out but I did. She's here with Nathan and you're here to get revenge and to force her to give you your son. This isn't the way to do it. This is so far from the way to do it." He just looked at me before hitting me hard. Our confrontation had yet to go as planned. He hit me which means Dean was only a few minutes away from death. "I know it sucks but you can't do this. People are going to die. Do you really want to be the cause of all that?"

"You don't understand." Jasper told me.

Just then Bethany and Nathan were pushed toward us. "Don't do this." I told Jasper.

"Jasper…" Bethany said breathlessly.

"Beth." He smiled at her.

"You son of a bitch." She frowned and spit in his face.

He went to hit her but I stepped in, blocking her. "Don't." I told him.

"You are so sick." Beth told her ex. "This is how you want your son to know you? How did you even know where I was?"

"I've been looking for you." He told her.

"And now you've found us. What are you going to do now?"

"I'm going to take you home."

"She's not going anywhere with you. Neither is your son." I told him.

Jasper raised his gun, aiming it at my chest. I just stood there, ready to take the bullet that never seemed to find a home in me. I looked to the side to see Dean moving toward me. I just looked at him before taking a step forward. The gun went off and everything went black.


	8. Where We Stop Nobody Knows

_**Chapter Eight: Where We Stop Nobody Knows**_

When I opened my eyes the room was exactly the way it was supposed to be. Tears welled in my eyes. Dean was walking toward me. I lowered my head and tried to will the tears away. But it wasn't so simple. I didn't know how it happened this time. I was supposed to be shot this time. I was supposed to be the one to die. If that was the way to end this I would do the self-sacrificing thing and just end it. I couldn't take it anymore. Dean stepped up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I felt his lips against my neck, sending shivers through my body. I couldn't fight the tears. I put my hand over my face, turning in his arms. I wrapped my arms around him, crying into his shoulder. He embraced me, gently rubbing my back. When I got some control back I rested my cheek against his shoulder. I took a deep breath, trying to put my façade back in place. As I calmed down I noticed Nathan standing across the room. He was staring at me. A small grin crossing his face. The wheels in my head were turning. Something was off. I let go of Dean, walking toward the boy. I was only halfway there when he disappeared from my site. I scanned the room but he was nowhere in sight. Frowning, I turned to see Dean watching me cautiously.

"Is everything okay?" He asked.

"No, far from it." I replied and moved past him.

I spent the majority of the night looking for Nathan but he seemed to have disappeared altogether. Making it that much more suspicious. A phrase was in my head but I couldn't remember why it was important.

"Just desserts." I frowned as I tried to remember why it sounded familiar.

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked as he continued to follow me around the room.

"Just desserts." I said facing him. "Why does that sound familiar? I can't remember."

"Just desserts?" He said frowning.

"Yes, it's connected to something supernatural. I know it is. I just can't think of what." I replied.

"Um…it's something people say about Tricksters." He told me.

"Yes!" I said feeling exceptionally relieved. "Thank you!" I said kissing him before running across the room.

Nathan was sitting with Beth just a few tables down. I rushed toward them, grabbing the boy, pulling him from his seat. Beth immediately freaked out at me as I held the boy in the air.

"I know what you are!" I yelled at him. He just grinned as his mother tried pulling him from my arms. "No!" I yelled at her. "This isn't your son!"

"What are you talking about?" Beth yelled.

"Make it stop!" I yelled shaking the boy. "Make the night end!"

"Stop it!" Dean said as he pried my fingers off of the boy. "Evy, stop it! Let him go!"

I let go of the kid and started to pace. "You don't get it!" I yelled at Dean. "He's a Trickster!"

"Just stop it, okay?" Dean frowned at me.

"No!" I yelled as tears started to stream. I turned and ran. I found a corner at the far side of the room and slid down the wall. I brought my knees up against me as I rocked back and forth. "He needs to make it stop. This has to stop. I need it to stop." I whispered to myself.

"Evy, what's going on?" Dean said standing in front of me, his hands on his hips.

"That little boy is a Trickster." I told him. "I've been reliving this night over and over again."

"Like déjà vu?" Dean frowned.

"No, Dean." I frowned as I wiped the tears off my cheeks. "Every night we're here and every night you die. I can't take it anymore." I said starting to rock again, crying as I put my hands over my head.

"Hey, it's going to be all right." He said sitting next to me.

I shook my head. Nothing about this was all right. He sighed and pulled me against him. Resting my head against his chest I continued to cry. I was just getting control of myself when the doors burst open and the men filed through. I sighed and watched them moved through.

"That's Jasper Hughes. He's the leader of all this. He's the ex-husband of Bethany and the father to Nathan. That's Marcel, Jasper's right hand man." I told Dean as I pointed them out. "They're here to get rich and grab the kid and his mom. Not sure why the Trickster would want to be the kid but whatever. That damn kid is the Trickster. I don't know if he has been the whole time but he is now. If the real Nathan is around here somewhere I don't know where. Unless both are wandering around here somewhere."

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"I'm beyond sure. He was just standing there grinning at me. And now that's it's started you'll be dead soon. You never make it more than a few hours. Something always happens."

"It'll be okay. I'm not going anywhere." He told me.

"You've said that before." I frowned at him, my tone defeated. "And you still die every time. I even tried killing myself." I admitted, stray tears falling down my cheeks.

"What? Don't even think that." Dean frowned heavily at me.

"I'm sorry. But what would you do if you saw me die every night?" I asked him.

"I guess the thought would cross my mind." He replied.

"Exactly." I replied.

"Let's just sit here for the rest of the night. It'll be all right." He told me with a reassuring smile.

"It's not that easy. They're going to come around demanding money and jewelry. Last time they asked for my necklace. I wouldn't give it to him. I've confronted Jasper about his motives but in the end I'm always in trouble and you always try and get me out of it. Then you die." I explained as tears filled my eyes.

"Just give him the necklace if they ask for it." Dean told him.

"No, Dean." I frowned at him. "This is from you and, whether it actually holds any real power or not, I feel like it protects me. I need to get you one."

"It's not worth your life. Maybe if you give it to him he'll leave us alone and we can survive the night." He told me.

"It's not just the necklace. Bethany is in trouble too. So is Nathan if the real one is around." I stated.

"We just need to lay low. We'll make it through this." He said kissing my forehead.

"Maybe." I said softly.

We were quiet as we waited. Soon someone stepped in front of us. We looked up and Dean shot to his feet.

"What is it?" I asked as I stood.

"You were right." He told me, his eyes on the man.

"Hi, Dean." The Trickster grinned at him. "Evy." He said and nodded at me.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked as I lunged at him. Dean held me back. "Please, make it stop." I told him with wet eyes.

"I don't think you're learning anything." He smiled.

"What?" I frowned at him. "What is it I'm supposed to be learning? Why do you keep killing him?"

"Maybe this doesn't have anything to with Dean." He smiled before walking away, glancing over his shoulder at us.

Dean and I looked at each other, frowning. We sat back down. I put my head in my hands, trying to think of every possible meaning of what he said.

"What did he mean?" Dean asked.

"I don't know." I frowned, shaking my head.

The more I thought about the more it appeared that he could only have meant one thing. I rested my head on Dean's shoulder, slipping my hand into his. He kissed me gently as we continued to wait. My mind kept going over his words. If it wasn't about killing Dean then why did he insist on doing it? What did I have to do with it? What lesson did he want us to learn? It took only a few minutes for the light bulb to go on. I looked at Dean. His eyes met mine. I smiled sweetly, kissing him gently, letting it linger. We held each other as we watched everything go down. I knew what I had to do. Even if it didn't work, I had to try.

It didn't take long before the men came around looking for anything that would fetch a price. We were nearly the last to be seen. It was the same guy from before. He asked for my necklace. I told him to fuck off. It, of course, didn't sit well and we were soon dragged from our spot. We were forced into a group of the others that tried to resist. Some were bleeding mildly but overall everyone seemed to be all right.

"Why didn't you just give it to him?" Dean scolded quietly.

"Because." I told him.

"Evy, we can't just do nothing." He replied. "Especially if people are going to get hurt."

"Don't do anything." I snapped at him. He frowned and I could see him looking around for something to use. I took a deep breath and stood, "Excuse me?"

"Evy…" Dean said reaching for me.

I quickly moved out of his reach. "Marcel, can I have a word?" I asked him.

"What?" He frowned at me.

"I was just wondering if you could do me a favor." I replied. He just frowned at me with an angry expression. "Could you tie him to his chair?" I asked pointing at Dean. Marcel continued to look at me. "Seriously, if you want this whole thing to go smoothly you want him tied to a chair." He continued to look at me before nodding at the man behind him.

"Evy, what are you doing?" Dean asked as his arms were forced behind his back.

"I'm saving you." I smiled my voice breaking.

"Don't do this. Baby, please, don't do this." He pleaded as he fought his bindings.

"I have to." I told him as tears started to fall.

"Evy, I'm not losing you again." He said leaning toward me, his eyes growing wet.

I went to him, leaning down, taking his head in my hands. "You'll never lose me. I'm always with you." I told him softly before kissing him deeply.

"Please." He whispered. "Please, don't do this."

"I love you." I smiled before moving my hand to my knife.

"Don't." Dean said shaking his head.

"It'll be okay." I told him as reassuringly as I could.

He shook his head as I stepped back. It took only a second for me to spin around, slashing Marcel across the throat. Others lunged at me. I spun and slashed an abdomen before punching another as his face came closer to mine. I turned and came face to face with Jasper. I turned the knife so it was against my forearm. He had a wicked grin on his face. It would take little to provoke him. I swung my arm up and then the gun went off. My stomach lurched as the bullet entered it. The knife dropped from my hand. My own breathing filled my ears. I'd been shot before but this was different. This felt different. Dean's voice brought me back from the initial shock. I turned and looked at him. Shock was written all over his face. I looked down. My hand was over the wound but blood was running freely from it. I moved my hand, the blood pooling in my open palm, warm and flowing.

"Evy…" He said barely above a whisper.

"I'm okay." I told him taking a step toward him. My legs wouldn't support my weight. I fell to the floor at his feet.

"Oh God…Evy." Dean said leaning down toward me.

"I'm okay." I repeated as I put my hand on his leg. "It doesn't even hurt."

"Please don't leave me." He whispered to me.

"It's gonna be okay." I told him weakly.

"I love you." He whispered.

I could hear the tears in his voice. "I love you too." I told him as I closed my eyes. His whispering voice was the last thing I heard.

* * *

When I opened my eyes a blue sky was above me. I sat up, the yellow flowers coming up nearly to my shoulders. They'd grown a bit. Barking filled my ears and Cooper came bounding into view. I stood and embraced my dog. A moment later Mary and John came running into the field. I smiled and ran toward them, throwing my arms around John's neck.

"You made it." I smiled.

"What are you doing here?" He frowned at me.

"Just give me two seconds to bask in your presence." I told him.

He smiled and hugged me tighter. "I've missed you." He said sweetly.

"Not as much as I've missed you." I grinned. "Mary." I said going to his wife.

"Evy." She smiled hugging me tightly.

"I am so happy to see you guys." I said just looking at them.

"Okay, tell us what happened." John said ruining my giddiness.

I sighed and pulled gently on Cooper's ear. "A Trickster put a time loop on me. I was reliving the same night over and over again. Only every night Dean was shot. Every night he died." I told them. Both his parents were looking at me with sad expressions. "Once I figured it out, he confronted us. He told me that I wasn't learning anything. When I asked him why he kept killing Dean he told me that it might not have anything to do with Dean. So in order to end the loop, I get to be here." I finished.

"You don't seem very upset about this." John frowned at me.

"What's there to be upset about?" I shrugged. "Dean is alive and I honestly don't think I'll be staying very long." I told him.

"What?" John frowned.

I just rolled my eyes and ran toward my house. In a side room was all my supernatural information. Since it was heaven and mine I knew exactly where the information I wanted was. I paged through the book until I found the information on Tricksters. It wasn't anything new but I had to read through it anyway. John started to page through things as well, bringing back tons of memories.

"I think he can bring me back. If he turns back time I'll be alive again." I told them as I glanced over a few pages. "He'll have to. Dean won't let me stay. He'll figure something out."

"Okay." John said but was, clearly, still confused.

"In the end I think time will be reset to when it all started. I should return to the ball and both of us will survive the night. Everything will go back on track." I tried explaining.

"What if this is the track?" John asked. "What if you're dead again? The real kind of dead."

"That would really suck." I told him. "Seeing Dean's face when I died. It was unbearable. It's not fair. But if this goes the way I think it will then he shouldn't remember what happened. Hopefully I won't either."

"Can we just go sit for a minute? Wrap our heads around all of this." Mary suggested.

"Of course." I smiled and we all went into the living room.

We sat down, only I was so fidgety that I stood and paced in front of them. I had to be right. Neither Dean nor Sam would allow the Trickster to get away with this. They would make him right time. They wouldn't let me stay dead and Sam would never let Dean stay dead. Something would be done. I would be with them again. I would live again.

"Honey, could you please sit for just a moment?" Mary asked me kindly.

"I can't. I –" I said and looked at her. "I just can't." I said and crossed my arms.

"Evy." John said and gave me a stern look.

I looked back, frowning before sinking down into my leather armchair. "What's going on down there?" I asked rhetorically.

"Just calm down." John frowned at me.

"Shut up." I frowned back at him. "I am a bit stressed at the moment. Just let me go a little crazy for a minute. I'm dead, my fiancé and future brother-in-law are in probable danger, and I am so frickin tired of this shit." I said and put my head in my hands.

"We know sweetie." Mary said comfortingly. "But you wouldn't have been given this life if you weren't meant for it."

I smiled at her. "Sometimes I think that. Then there are times I think the universe enjoys watching me suffer."

"It probably does." John grinned at me.

I grinned back, shaking my head at him. "I kinda love you, you know that?"

"Love you too." He winked.

"If you don't mind me asking, how were you brought back?" Mary asked gently.

"A deal was made with a crossroads demon." I told her.

"Who?" John frowned as Mary put her hand on his knee.

"Don't worry. Both your boys are safe." I told them. I watched them relax. I wasn't about to tell them about Dean. It wasn't fair and they couldn't do anything about it. "Riley Newberry is the one who did it. He was a friend of mine. Then he betrayed me and the boys. He threw his lot in with yellow-eyes. He's our enemy now but some part of him felt guilty about my death. He brought me back. Only it came with a price. He made me forget who I was. I was alive two months before I accidentally ran into the boys. Scared the crap out of me. Dean kept calling me 'baby' and told me I knew them. I didn't know them. I couldn't remember. But you know your boys. They're very persistent." I told them and smiled. "So after spending time with them something was triggered. I remembered who I was. And who Riley was. Sam made me let him go but he'll get what's coming to him. If I ever see him again I don't think I'll be able to help myself." I finished, feeling the distant look coming to my eyes.

"It should make you happy to know that he'll be dead in 10 years if you don't get to him first." John smiled.

I gave him a small smile. "Yeah, but to think of the damage he could do before then isn't very reassuring."

They just looked at me. Time seemed to stand still. This was anything but unusual. I knew what heaven was like. I knew that time didn't mean anything. This was agonizing. I was still convinced that I wasn't going to be staying here. It was unbelievable to think that Dean and Sam would let me stay here. Not like this. John, Mary, and I talked to break the silence but it was hard to focus. All I could think of was Dean and what was happening in the land of the living. I sat on the couch, stroking Cooper as he draped himself across my lap.

"...in the end I've come to the conclusion that skiing is not for me." I told him. They grinned at me. Can't pass up an opportunity to laugh at my clumsiness. "Dean's been fantastic though, despite it all. He's –" I stopped as something familiar pulled at me. The smile on my face faltered before a deep frown set in. "Not good."

John and Mary followed me as I ran out into the field. Dean was standing there, smiling at me. Then he was gone. I frowned as the feeling faded. Only a few minutes later he appeared again. He lingered momentarily before he disappeared again. It continued over and over again. He appeared and then disappeared in different areas of the field. John and Mary watched as I ran around trying to find Dean. Every time he appeared I never made it to him before he disappeared again.

"What the hell!" I screamed falling to my knees. "What's going on?" I asked myself as tears filled my eyes.

"Evy…" John said putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Sam." I said and looked at them. "The Trickster is playing with Sam." I said and stood. "He keeps killing Dean. He keeps doing it." I said as I started to pace. "But why? What are we supposed to learn?"

Anger started to boil in my veins. Dean appeared again. He was only a few feet from me this time. I stood and faced him. A second later he was gone. It started again. He appeared and disappeared again. Over and over and over. I kept moving to find him but I gave up. There was no catching him. I stopped and watched as he came and went in all areas of the field.

"Stop it." I said as I watched, turning in a circle. "Stop it! Stop! Stop! STOP!" I yelled. I fell to my knees, throwing my head back, screaming as loud as I could. In the same moment the sky went dark, thunder and lightning erupting. The sky opened up and a heavy downpour came crashing down on us. Tears came to my eyes. I hung my head. "Please, stop." I said closing my eyes.

"Evy…"

Dean's voice caught my ears. "Dean…" I said looking up at him. He didn't disappear. I rushed to him, throwing my arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. "I love you. I love you so much." I told him.

"I love you too." He said and kissed me again.

"What happened?" I asked him.

"I was shot." He told me.

"What?" I frowned.

"The Trickster caught up with us again. The same game only this time he played it with Sam. We thought we had ended it. But I was shot in the parking lot of the motel." He explained.

"How are you here?" I asked him. "Since you died before the year mark does that mean you won't go to Hell?"

"Maybe the devil doesn't know I'm here yet." He replied.

"Dean…" I said as tears filled my eyes.

"Hey, it's okay." He told me with his half smile. "I'll always come for you."

I gave a short laugh before wrapping my arms around his neck, kissing him passionately. "Stay with me." I whispered to him.

"I'm always with you. No matter what happens." He told me, his fingers touching the pentagram around my neck. "I love you."

"I love you." I said and kissed him gently. Then my skin burned as he burst into flame, disappearing from the field. "No. No! NO!" I screamed falling to my knees again.

My chest heaved with the effort of the sobs breaking from my throat. I sobbed, rocking back and forth as I thought of Dean being in Hell. I felt hands on my shoulders but I shrank away from them. I didn't want to be comforted. I didn't want to feel better. I had tried to save him. But he ended up in Hell anyway. I cried so hard for so long that I was exhausted. I fell to the side, curling myself into the fetal position. The tears were still streaming as rain continued to pour down. Cooper laid next to me, his head next to mine. He licked my forehead, whining, but stayed with me. I let myself fall asleep, waking only when Cooper lifted his head. I heard footsteps before arms were underneath me. I looked at John as he cradled me against his chest. He placed a kiss on my forehead before turning toward the house. He carried me up to my room, laying me on the big bed. Cooper jumped up next to me, licking John's hand before he left the room. I put my arm around my dog and buried my face in the fur of his neck. I laid there for quite some time. When I finally got up I moved to the armchair downstairs, staring outside into the field. I didn't say anything to anyone, though both John and Mary had stayed at the house. I was miserable. I didn't know what to do anymore. But it seemed like I might be here longer than I thought. It wasn't something I had prepared myself for. I didn't want to be dead again. I didn't want Dean in Hell. But what was I supposed to do? What's done was done. Only the Trickster could change our fates now.

* * *

Time went on and I remained in the armchair. The rain continued outside and I couldn't remember the last time I blinked. Every time I closed my eyes, no matter how long, Dean's body in flames was all I could see. John and Mary tried to talk to me, to break me out of the trance I was in but it was no use. It didn't matter anyway. There was no swaying my frame of mind. Cooper remained at my side but even he couldn't get me to look at him. Remaining silent, tears fell down my cheeks. It seemed like a permanent gully ran down them. Footsteps came behind me and John pulled up a chair.

"Are you going to say anything?" He asked me.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked shaking my head at him, though my voice raspy and thick with emotion. Tears fell and I wiped them away as I looked back out the window.

"Tell me what you're thinking." He said sadly.

"You know what I'm thinking." I told him. "You don't have to ask that. You already know."

"But you need to say it." He replied.

"I don't want to say it." I said as I started to breakdown again. "I don't want to think it. It's not supposed to end like this. I'm not supposed to be here!" I said and kicked the nearby end table as I got to my feet. "Why do I have to die? Why does Dean have to be in Hell? Why can't we just live our lives? Why, John, why?" I yelled at him before putting my fingers on my forehead. "What am I supposed to do, John?" I said looking at him.

"Come here." John said pulling me against him.

He held me tight as he gently caressed my back. I didn't know what to do. I could only cry. John put his hand on my head, kissing the top of it. I turned my face into him and cried harder. I couldn't stop. He led me to the couch. Sitting down he draped me across his lap. I hugged his knee as I sobbed. He gently ran his fingers through my hair. I wished I could say it was comforting me. I wished he was doing something but it just hurt so bad. It hurt to think of Dean in Hell. It hurt to think that I was going to stay dead. It just _hurt_.

"It's going to be okay." John whispered softly. I shook my head at him. "It'll get better. Dean will be okay. If I can get out of Hell so can he. And when he does, he'll come right here to you."

I sat up and looked at him. "It's not that simple, John." I told him with red eyes. "Dean's in _Hell_. I'm dead again. How the hell is this going to be okay?"

"This place will fix it." He said with a small smile. "You can't stay sad here."

"I can and I will." I told him and moved away from him.

"Evy, please." He said sadly. "You need to stop. You can't stay like this. It's not healthy."

"I'm dead!" I yelled at him. "I am dead! I don't need to be healthy! This is the way it's going to be for the rest of eternity! This house, this place, this….dog!" I said and looked at Cooper. He whined and lay at my feet. I sighed and dropped to the floor, pulling him up into my arms. "I'm sorry." I cried into him. "I'm sorry." He whined again and licked my arm. I nodded and let him go. He looked at me before licking my cheek. "Okay." I said looking at him. "Okay. Let's go." His tail thumped on the ground and he ran from the room.

"The rain stopped." Mary said from the doorway.

"Yeah." I said and followed my dog.

The sun had yet to be seen but the rain had stopped. I threw the ball for Cooper until neither of us could play anymore. When he was tired I went to the elm tree swing. The sun set and the clouds receded, letting stars litter the sky. I watched them and it was surprising at how relaxed they made me feel. The stars had more impact on me then my parents inside or my dog next to me. There was something about them. I looked at Cooper who had rolled onto his back. He looked at me, his lips falling back making his teeth show and his eyes looked all big. I couldn't help but laugh at him. I laughed harder than I had in a while. Cooper's tail wagged and he sneezed as his sinuses backed up. I laughed even harder, tears running from the corners of my eyes. His tail wagged harder and he rolled over, licking my face. I hugged him before sitting up. He sat next to me, looking at me with his mouth open, tongue lolling out. I smiled and scratched his neck. Once again absorbing myself in the stars, I jumped at the sound of John's voice. Looking over I saw both him and Mary walking towards me.

"Hey." John smiled sweetly.

"Hey." I smiled as he kissed my forehead.

"Can we sit?" He asked.

"Of course." I said and moved to the side. I watched as John and Mary sat across from me. Both looked a little uneasy. "It's okay. I'm okay." I told them.

"You seem better." John stated.

"It's the stars." I smiled and looked up at them.

"They're beautiful." Mary smiled at me.

I looked at them, both looking worried but not all at the same time. "I'm sorry you guys." I told them with a small smile. "It's just been a lot to take in. I was here and then I was alive again. Dean and I were on track. We were happy. But it's like we're being punished for being too happy. Like the universe likes watching us suffer. I'm here and Dean's in Hell. It's just too much." I blurted out.

"You're not being punished." Mary said moving forward taking my hands in hers. "Things happen. Sometimes we have no control over it. You did what you thought was best. You saved Dean. You saved him. You couldn't have known that the Trickster was going to come back again."

"But he did and I'm still dead. Now he's dead and there is nothing I can do about it. Where is Sam? He is going to be a mess without his brother. Oh God!" I said standing up. I started to pace. "I've been so closed minded. I've been thinking so much about Dean that I haven't been thinking about Sam. Oh my God! Sammy!" I said and started to cry again. "He's all alone. He doesn't have anyone. He's going to be a mess. Sam. Sammy."

"Evy." John said standing. He took my arms and forced me to look at him. "Sam is going to be fine. He's tough and he's still got Bobby." He told me.

"It's not going to matter." I told him. "Sam isn't going to go to Bobby. Bobby is going to try and be there for him but Sam isn't going to let him."

"How do you know that?" John asked.

"Because I know Sam." I replied. "I know him inside and out and I know he's going to be a mess. He's going to turn hard. He's not going to be Sam anymore."

"He'll be okay." Mary smiled gently.

"No, he won't." I said and sat down again.

My head dropped and I shut my eyes. Sam was in trouble. He needed his brother. Even if I were alive he would still need his brother. Mary sat in front of me. She pushed my hair behind my ear.

"Sweetie, Sammy is going to be fine. He's strong and he's smart. He'll find the Trickster and fix this if he can." She told me gently.

"But how long will that take?" I asked and wiped the tears away. "He's alone."

She played with my hair gently. "John." I heard her whisper.

I felt him sit behind me, his arms moving around my shoulders. He kissed my shoulder before sighing into my ear. "Honey, I'm sorry that all this is happening. But it'll work out in the end. You can't blame yourself for this. Sometimes bad things happen and there's nothing you can do about it."

"I hate feeling like this." I told him.

"I know. It'll get better." He replied.

"When?" I frowned at him.

He kissed my cheek and turned me toward him. "It's getting better all the time. Don't worry about him. There's nothing you can do about it now. He'll be able to fend for himself. You know he can take care of himself."

"I know he can." I replied. "I just worry about him."

"We do too, but we have no sway on the living anymore." He stated.

"Okay." I told him nodding. I closed my eyes and for a moment I felt an overwhelming feeling of pain and anger. I put my hand to my chest, knowing who it was. I was concentrating on him now and now I could feel him. I took it in, not saying anything. "You're right." I said and smiled at John. "He'll be okay." John smiled and nodded, kissing my forehead. "I love you, you know that right? I love both of you."

"We know." Mary said hugging me from behind. John nodded and put his arms around me too. "We love you too." I smiled and relaxed into them, pulling gently on Cooper's ear as he placed his muzzle in my lap.

Just as I was starting to feel better everything went black. I opened my eyes and I was once again in the ballroom. My breathing quickened as I looked at myself. I was in my dress; everyone from that night was there. I was alive again. I turned and Dean was walking toward me. Bursting into tears I rushed to him, throwing my arms around his neck.

"What's wrong?" Dean said pulling me away from him.

"Nothing." I smiled and kissed him passionately and repeatedly. I stopped only when my phone rang. I answered it quickly, "Sam."

"Is he…?"

"Yes."

"Does he…?"

"No."

"I'm on my way to you."

"Okay." I said and hung up the phone.

"What was that about?" Dean frowned at me.

"Do you remember the Trickster?" I asked him.

"What? What Trickster?" He said looking around.

"Let's get out of here." I said grabbing his hand.

My heart was pounding the whole way to the door. I slowed momentarily as we neared it. I pushed on it and when it gave way to the hall I pulled Dean through before booking it to the room. I shoved him through it and locked the door behind us.

"What is going on?" Dean asked me.

"Nothing. Sam's on his way here." I told him.

"Why?" Dean asked.

"Because he misses us. He can come if he wants." I frowned.

"This was supposed to be our time." He told me slightly defensively.

"Baby…" I said going to him, putting my hands on his chest. I sighed and kissed him. "Let's sit and talk a little."

I sat him down and told him everything that happened. He didn't remember anything. I remembered everything down to the smell of blood in the air, but Dean was lucky enough to have no recollection of what happened before or after my death…and his. Sam came only a short while after I was done. When I opened the door he was looking rather upset.

"Hi." He smiled sadly. I just smiled back before opening the door wider. Dean was standing there with a small smile on his face. "Dean…" Sam said before rushing to his brother, hugging him tightly. I walked to them, putting my arms around both of them.

"I love you guys." I said as I hugged them.

"I love you too." They both said in unison.

Dean went to shower and change, leaving Sam and me alone. We sat down on the couch, both feeling happy but depressed all at the same time.

"What happened, Sam? While we were gone." I asked him. "You were in so much pain."

"How do you know?" Sam frowned.

"I felt you. Just before time reset. You were so angry, in so much pain."

"I was alone. What did you expect?" He frowned.

"I'm sorry, Sammy. But you remember everything?" I asked him.

"Everything." He nodded. "You?"

"Everything." I replied. "I don't want to remember."

"Me neither." He said and pulled me into a hug.


End file.
